It’s been two very intense and action-packed weeks in the Catalan capital, working with several clients daily to make impressive breakthroughs in their dating and social results.
The main takeaway?
It’s often the thing we resist the most that we need the most.
I see it happen all the time with my students.
Guys who are highly motivated to change their seductive situation, who promptly invest serious amounts for hiring me as their coach for a few days, travel hundreds of miles to work with me personally…
The truth is that meeting new women in real life is a lot more complicated than it looks on camera.
It takes a lot of balls and willpower to initially push through the veils of limiting beliefs society enforces on us.
From a young age, we are taught to avoid talking to strangers and settle for a small comfort bubble of friends we meet in school, through hobbies, or in the office.
If you want to become great with women, you need to ignore all that nonsense.
And realize that the world truly is your playground. You can do what you want, meet who you want. No limits.
Of course, getting good at this also requires a strong dose of empathy.
Women, unfortunately, are not always approached by cool, respectful guys with good game and intentions. Some individuals out there like to cat-call and make girls feel uncomfortable.
But do not let this fear of disturbing her prevent you from taking action.
In the end, women love to be approached by the right guy.
It’s the ultimate Hollywood fantasy: meeting a sexy stranger on the bus to the office or randomly in the street.
To learn how to become such intriguing stranger and confidently get over most triggers and mental blockages men experience when starting day game, watch my latest video linked below
P.S. Want to work with Alex, James, and the rest of the team to learn how to constantly access new streams of hot women and finally build the dating life you deserve?
Then check our upcoming workshop dates for Summer 2022:
We still have a couple of spots left for our four-day Intensive in Barcelona, Spain, running from Aug 23rd-Aug 26th, as well as for our 7-day Residential program from Aug 29th-Sep 4th.
This is your chance to get access to several days of advanced coaching, spend dozens of hours infield meeting women, participate in exclusive masterclasses with guest coaches, roleplay sessions with our team of female model instructors, and a lot more.
To figure out what’s the best program for you and reserve your spot before everything goes sold out within the next week:
Alternatively, if determined to work with me individually as your coach and spend three days together going through an extremely-customized and elite curriculum tailored to your needs only, you can apply for my 1-on-1 private workshop HERE
Far too many guys underestimate the importance of women’s advice.
Eventually, our goal as heterosexual males wanting to get better at seduction is to get more, hotter, and interesting girls in our lives.
Yet, many of us deliberately refuse to acknowledge or listen to girls’ feedback.
That’s because of a biased and delusional view of the dating process compared to some kind of “great hunt” where girls––the preys––understandably will not reveal men––the hunters––the best ways to get caught.
Good luck improving your seductive results with that mindset…
And that won’t happen if you approach them in a confrontational ‘me vs you’ kind of way.
Women want the same things we want: fun, good emotions, and epic sex.
So there’s no point in competing with them…Collaboration is the answer!
For many years, we at TNL have recognized the immense value and learnings men can tap into by having honest, constructive conversations with girls.
That’s why we collaborate with female coaches on most live workshops and often interview them to get the most accurate insights into female psychology, sexuality, and dating dynamics.
If you want to understand how to properly ask women for dating advice and get honest actionable feedback from them, watch my latest video. In it, you’ll see me interviewing several different ladies on core subjects like sex, what turns them on in guys, and, most importantly, how to properly escalate without resistance.
Click on the link below to watch it:
P.S. Want to get past a life of settling for average girls and getting few dates only out of your groups of friends or when drunk in bars?
My3-Part Honest Dating Course is the fastest and most practical way to get started on the art & science of cold-approaching girls during daytime, and it’s completely free!
Just register for it to get access to three epic lectures that will teach you how to efficiently approach,start conversations and get on tons of sexy dates with stunning girls from literally anywhere without having to know them first.
Of all the colorful and various ways a guy can meet women and get regular dates, nothing beats daytime cold-approaching when it comes to fast results and personal growth.
Compare it to crowded dating apps, and you have a way to instantly meet attractive girls without having them swipe first on you.
And in contrast to VIP nightclubs or bars, the hottest women are not hidden behind velvet ropes and hordes of high-value dudes, but right in front of you ready to be approached.
It’s simple, it’s fun, and it’s extremely effective.
Yet, I often see guys complaining that they don’t have time for it…
As if you should dedicate hours upon hours every day to approaching girls.
Truth is that daygame is a lot less about having allocated 4-hour sessions of meeting women––which are very useful in a coaching setting but unsustainable in the long run––and more about making the best out of every good opportunity that comes your way.
Like exchanging eye contact with a cute girl on your way to the office, or spotting a hot brunette during your lunch break.
If you want a living proof of this minimalistic, time-efficient, approach to meeting women, check my latest value-packed infield video.
In it, you’ll see me approaching, getting numbers, and arranging dates with 4 different women, within a little more than 30 minutes spent in the streets.
Click on the link below to watch it:
P.S. Want to take your daygame skillset to the next level?
In two weeks, I’ll be hosting a 7-day residential program in Kiev, Ukraine, where I’ll be coaching a select group of men on how to become incredible with girls and build the seductive lifestyle they’ve always dreamed of.
Dates are July 11th-July 18th, 2021, and you get over 60 hours of personalised training including both theory lectures, practice with hot female models, and dozens of hours of infield daygame coaching with me and the entire TNL team.
Attractive women are so used to annoying catcalling from drunk dudes and weird people that they often ignore everyone when they’re out.
So they often find most of their dating prospects through their social circle and workplace––it gets boring real fast.
But one day they finally meet a charming, socially savvy guy who is so interested in her that has to stop whatever he’s doing and walk up to her in the street.
This is something rare, and many single girls are likely to be intrigued by such a good opportunity.
Still, lots of guys never get to experience the real fun and adventure as they self-sabotage themselves by making poor choices.
Either they get too needy and try to make a move too soon, creeping her out and killing the attraction.
Or they decide to postpone everything, take the number and schedule a date in the future even if she’s clearly free and open to getting to know them at that moment.
If this is you, it’s important you stop self-sabotaging your results right now!
Watch my latest video to learn the three most important things you should do to take a girl home right after the approach. Click the link below to watch it:
P.S. Want to quickly become the kind of charming stranger that can consistently meet and take girls home from all sorts of places?
Many of our students have successfully approached and gotten sexy dates from Starbucks, shopping malls, libraries, bars, universities, and even supermarkets, and you can become one of them 😉
Our coaching curriculum teaches you how to calibrate and adjust your approach based on the situation at hand so that you can always start a conversation and move things forward smoothly and without resistance or tension from her side.
Currently, we still have 2 spots left for our next training program running in Kyiv, Ukraine from July 22nd-July 25th, 2021. To learn more about how everything works, click HERE.
P.P.S.Want to get daily insights into the kind of seductive lifestyle you can build once you master the most powerful nuances of dating? Just follow me on my personal Instagram.
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Why men lose their desire (libido killers revealed)
Many guys come to us asking for relationship advice when it’s already too late. They want to know how to make their girlfriend like them, how to bring the spark back, how to keep things exciting.
But what they don’t realize is the relationship advice they’ve been given is not just unhelpful…in most of the cases we see, it’s too little, too late. They are already in too deep, driven by cultural myths about what women want, and have lost their masculine energy, vitality and life force that made the woman attracted to them in the first place.
A man feels as though, if he is a good enough guy, shows respect, affection, is on time, is neat, is nice, a woman will fall for him.
What we’ve seen over and over is that women respond to how a man makes her feel, not the things he does. And most guys have no idea how they make a woman feel, or what feelings are exciting for her.
Here are the 3 distinct phases guys play out:
1. Knight in shining armour
This is a classic role that guys love to play. It’s fed into our brains since childhood… the powerful handsome rich prince saving the princess and getting rewarded with sex, affection, and female attention. This story often leads guys to pursue girls who are not interested in them, spend months or years patiently hoping that if they stick around long enough a girl will recognize what a good guy they are, or stay in toxic relationships with girls who have extreme emotional problems hoping that they can ‘fix them’ or ‘save them. This leads to the next mistake…
2. Sacrifices
The knight has to slay a big dragon to impress the princess. But it’s worth it when he gets that sweet, sweet feminine attention and approval he’s been craving in the form of sex, a girlfriend, intimacy etc. So many guys often end up making sacrifices to prove their love, from the subtle day by day ones to the grandiose. An example of the subtle is attending to a woman’s every need to the point where you smother her. and the grandiose… in this job I’ve watched countless guys throw away passions, friendship groups, careers, fulfilling lifestyles and artistic pursuits to ‘be with a girl’. And here’s the worst part: women don’t respect you for it… they actually resent it! They are attracted to a man with a vital life force and purpose… unless that purpose is ‘needily extract validation and feminine attention from this woman.’ She wants to be part of your life, NOT your whole life.
3. Resentment
Men who play out these stereotypes long enough end up resenting women. They feel cheated by the system, lied to, manipulated. This is covered extensively in “No More Mr Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. It feels for them that no matter how hard they try, no matter how nice, chivalrous they are, their quest for feminine affection and attention winds up hurting them.
So what is the ultimate relationship advice? Maintain a purpose, drive, and passion outside of women. Make her a fun addition to your already stimulating lifestyle, not the focal point of it. This involves discovering who YOU are as a man before diving head first into a serious long-term monogamous relationship. Click HERE to explore this topic in depth.
There is a huge self-help industry around getting your ex girlfriend/boyfriend back, which I find irresponsible and damaging. It’s the same as offering Ex-junkies a special method to get back on drugs.
This is simply exploiting the loneliness of vulnerable people and is advising devastatingly bad advice from a presupposition of a scarcity of options and assumption that the dead relationship is worth saving. The absolute truth almost without exception is that it NEVER works when couples get back together after a serious breakup (as opposed to a fight where someone sleeps on a couch or at their mothers).
The ultimate advice on how to get your ex girlfriend back is, to never try to get your ex back. It’s called a breakup for a reason, it was broken.
Everyone (including the author) ignores this sage advice sometimes and very often couples will chew up years on again off again, with starkly diminishing returns as the makeup sex and nostalgia fades, to be replaced by bitter disappointment, denial and fatalism.
Here are the top 7 brutal and liberating lessons about breakups:
1. Dragging out the end ruins the rest
The end of a relationship is the worst part, so dragging it out and going through the breakup cycle multiple times is the major reason (along with miscommunicated relationship goals early on) for people to become cynical about relationships in general and carry baggage into the next one. You will rapidly destroy the love and empathy for each other as well as spoil the overall experience as the end takes emotional precedence.
2. Women break up better than men
In general a woman coming out of a relationship will process her emotions faster and deeper than a man. She’ll cry, have a tantrum, get drunk or whatever does it for her and have a catharsis and then move on. (Occasionally she’ll become a stalking psycho but as you start to choose more level headed emotionally mature women this will happen less). She is also much more likely to buy a new dress, go out with her friends and fuck a few guys to get over it. Men will often close themselves off with a few friends and commiserate over hard liquor apathetically swipe through tinder, being flaked on by dumpy suburban girls, sending needy texts to his ex hoping she’ll take him back.
It’s vital that you learn seduction skills and mindsets, not to become the ultimate pick up artist but so that whenever you need to be skillfully single you can be. The best thing you can do after a break up is go out and date new women. Even if it’s fumbling and contrived at first, you need to have regular sexual expression, fun experiences and search for new direction in life.
3. Don’t try to replace your ex
You are not trying to find a replacement to your ex, someone as “good as her”.
You’ll just end up pining for her if you approach every date as a failed audition for girlfriend, with an idealized vision of your ex as the benchmark. You should take this time to explore more easy going less intense flings with girls that may not be your wife material but are fun, kind, sexual, exciting.
This very quickly becomes new energy and drive leading to untold abundance of sexual choice and dating fun.
Being actively single becomes the ideal time to work on yourself, process the mistakes of the last relationship and work on evolving yourself so that when you again meet someone truly compatible you’ll be ready for them.
On the reverse side, the worst thing you could do is jump into a serious relationship with the first or second girl you fuck because you can’t stand the uncertainty of single life, thereby downgrading to an even less fulfilling partnership based off a sloppy rebound.
4. Break ups are liberating and loving
At some point in your life the most caring and compassionate thing to do is leave somebody, or to accept and embrace when they do. Realizing that it is the act of being still together that is holding you both back from a better life experience can be incredibly difficult to accept. To not to take it as personal rejection and blame yourself or her for the inevitable is important. The price of staying in months longer than you should is not just the misery of it but the lost opportunities that passed you by while you were clinging to a redundant relationship.
5. Be clear that it’s over
Being clear about the ending is in alignment with the philosophy of being Natural, honest and direct. You must not only be direct on your opener but through out the whole relationship and especially at the end. A common way men use to breakup is to just become a shit boyfriend, avoid conflict and admitting his decision until she gets fed up and dumps him. By trying to be gentle he ends up causing both of you more pain and conflict. Often this soils the ending leaving bitterness between the couple.
6. Cut contact
You cannot be her counselor or vice versa after a breakup. If you stay in contact regularly you will fight, say horrible shit you regret, have soppy nostalgic chats, or get stuck in weary discussions about culpability and emotions, god help me. You’ll also probably back in bed together and start the whole mess again.
Keep distance until you’d both be happy to be in the same room as each other and your new partner and feel fine about it. That’s usually 6 months to never.
7. Over doesn’t mean failure
Rather than seeing the end as a failure and desperately trying to resuscitate it, see the end for what it is and allow the desires and unexplored paths that had been bubbling under the surface express into reality. This isn’t a failed attempt to find the one but a time in your life with somebody you cared for that has changed and needs to be left behind so that you can both continue to grow, explore and prepare for the next one. This means you will be able to leave each other with relatively little heartache and then quite likely become friends later, continuing the direct and honest communication you always (or mostly) had.Ignore this all at your peril gentlemen, you have been warned. And when you come back after dragging out some god awful breakup, or trying to get a girlfriend pathetically after she’s moved on, while missing heaps of pussy and fun then I’ll just tell you the same thing. Next time you’ll hopefully limit the drama to a couple of weeks.
By that I mean after you’ve failed to make eye contact or are sitting in front of her for minutes on the subway?
What To Do When You Hesitate To Approach
Here’s another#AskTheNaturals featuring a question from our fan Zsombor who asks:
“When is it too late to approach a girl? By that I mean after you’ve failed to make eye contact or are sitting in front of her for minutes on the subway?”
Excellent question. This harkens back to something that is so common amongst the guys that I coach on workshops. You’ll probably relate to this too, so pay attention.
Perfectionism
If you’ve been watching videos or reading about pick up for some time now, you’ve developed an idea in your head about the ‘perfect’ approach, something like:
Make eye contact. Be direct, don't ask for directions to the nearest Starbucks. Then you have to touch, although not creepily, hold tension, but not too much tension, don’t be anxious, but don’t try to NOT be anxious, and if you are anxious make sure that you’re counteracting that with less anxiety. Oh, and get the number.
See, most men in today’s world are working in roles that require this level of detail.
You need to know the in’s and out’s of a system, how something works, how to build something, or fix it.
Perfectionism is ideal in that context, because it eliminates costly errors.
We don’t want engineers building bridges who say “yeah, that will do, let's get lunch”, and then have it fall down 2 months later.
The ‘Approach Window’
Now in Zsombors case, he’s after the perfect ‘approach window’. That sweet spot where she looks at you, and you look at her, and then she smiles, and you smile, and it’s like it was meant to be.
You might be different though. Maybe you wait until nobody is around before you approach, so it’s less embarrassing.
Or you wait for her to take out her headphones…and keep waiting…then realise she’s got no reason to spontaneously take them out so you can talk to her.
Either way, you’re just not approaching at all because you have this MASSIVE list of all these boxes to check off in your head making it so overwhelming to take any action at all.
And that’s ok. A little forgiveness is needed here, because after all you’re learning something new. You’re transitioning from a framework, this perfectionism habit that you’ve relied on for decades into the new unexplored realm of ‘take action and see what happens’.
It's risky, it's scary, and it could all blow up in your face.
Or, something amazing could happen.
Finding Your Moment
So what’s the next step?
In those moments when you’re looking for an opportunity to present itself, you’re actually stuck in your head making excuses.
You’re giving into the thought that you can’t approach her until X happens, and that thought then becomes true. This is a big part of why we teach meditation to our students on workshops, because it helps them to get out of their head and into the present moment.
I’ve taken everything I’ve learned about meditation from over 10 years of study and practice and condensed it into a 6-week online course called the Marshall Meditation Method that’s designed to teach you how to meditate in a practical, no-nonsense way.
The idea is that it’s nice to sit at home on a cushion and achieve a sense of peace, but you actually need it when you’re out and about in the world. Having coached thousands of students in meditation I’ve developed method that enables you to actually apply this state of mindfulness to stressful situations, like say, oh i don’t know, approaching women after you’ve made eye contact! Click here to learn more about the course.
Ultimately, you need to realise that you’re raising the bar too high by trying to get everything perfect. So instead, lower it. Significantly. Even if the new criteria is 'say hello to beautiful girl'. You can’t get any of the other things on the ‘list’ right, if you haven’t even created the opportunity to do those things.
Do you want to know a secret technique that got me many telephone numbers?
Do you want to know a secret technique that got me many telephone numbers and beautiful women coming back to my place in the past 10 years?
It’s called asking for it.
Nowadays, I see lots of men investing countless hours in the pursuit of becoming better versions of themselves in order to attract females. They become passionate about self-growth, read dozens of books, start hitting the gym, start watching TNL YouTube videos, but still struggle to make a move on the girls they like and remain stuck in the uncomfortable place known as the friend zone.
If this is your case, fear no more because today I’m going to help you end this platonic cycle of relationships and transition into real dating. Now, If I had to point the #1 issue causing this friend zone epidemic, I’d probably say that you are waiting for overt signals from the girl before you feel comfortable expressing your interest in her. For example, you might spend an excessive amount of energy talking about things you have no interest in, agreeing and nodding enthusiastically. Or you keep skipping over topics on a surface level without applying any pressure, flirtation or heavy eye contact, hoping instead that she will magically fall for your Olympic-level interview skills. Eventually, she will see you as nothing more than a friendly stranger and she will be gone soon before you think about asking for her number. Or she’ll offer her friendly flakey Instagram to add you to her ever growing follower list.
If I had to point the #1 issue causing this friend zone epidemic, I’d probably say that you are waiting for overt signals from the girl before you feel comfortable expressing your interest in her.
So how can you end this pattern? First, next time, before you go and talk to a woman, take a deep breath and set your intentions. You’re not meeting her to become her friend but because you’re considering her as a possible romantic partner. Second, if you want her telephone number or to ask her out for a coffee at that same moment, just express it. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, because there isn’t one. Once you start doing this two things will begin to happen: some women will be attracted to you and look forward to seeing you again and others will reject you. What a wonderful outcome either way. You either get the date or you know you did your masculine job and there are no “what ifs” haunting you for days, weeks, months or even years after.
This is the brave moment in which your seduction journey truly begins. If you watch our students develop throughout a typical TNL workshop you’ll see them evolving from typical ‘nice guys’ struggling to stop girls on the street, to comfortably taking numbers of very attractive women after only three days of live coaching. Learning to express your masculine intent is something that usually takes a lot of time, but because we have excellent female role-play assistants to practice conversation frameworks, intent and touch drills with the students every day before they do it with strangers in the street, then they are able to accelerate in this area much more quickly. Using drama classes to develop a student’s skills in a safe environment where he can experiment and learn before he takes his new learning to the street is the most effective tool we’ve found to help our students speed up the process and learn how to express their desires in a matter of days.
If you’ve spent your whole life not being able to look a woman in the eye and ask her out on a date then you need to join one of our workshops. The shocking thing is that we find this inability to be direct about your sexual intent is very common. The hard truth is that a man will find it hard to get what he is unable to ask for, never mind the other important things like being able to calibrate, contribute to the conversation, challenge, qualify, make an emotional impact and exchange contacts and all that while smoothly making physical moves at the same time.
The great thing is that firstly, you have a choice, you can develop the courage and the ability to ask, and secondly, no matter how long you may have struggled with any of these abilities we have worked out how to teach them to you – see it as the class on dating you never got in high school. I used to teach high school drama classes and not only do I wish I was able to teach there what we at TNL teach, I think that we’ve all been let down by society because these key competencies have been ignored.
So how can you end this pattern? First, next time, before you go and talk to a woman, take a deep breath and set your intentions. You’re not meeting her to become her friend but because you’re considering her as a possible romantic partner. Second, if you want her telephone number or to ask her out for a coffee at that same moment, just express it. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, because there isn’t one. Once you start doing this two things will begin to happen: some women will be attracted to you and look forward to seeing you again and others will reject you. What a wonderful outcome either way. You either get the date or you know you did your masculine job and there are no “what ifs” haunting you 