How To Connect With Women By Being Yourself

Perspectives from the TNL coaches

You know that feeling?

The summer of love and rainbows is over.

For most men, autumn is either a celebration of connection and mutual growth with the right woman or a cold realization that they settled for an average girl who was the safest option and whom they have nothing in common with. But what should you do if you find yourself falling into the latter, or worse you have no women in your life at all at the moment?

What do you do to get a really great woman into your life?

First, realize that you are surrounded by plenty of options on a daily basis, whether on your way to work, in the library, cafes or at the gym.

Second, go and talk to them.

But as our coaches know, you’re going to be taking this on from a number of levels.

If you’re anywhere like most guys when starting this, though, on one level you probably just feel very stifled at the idea of going to approach complete strangers and experiencing awkward conversations. In all these years of teaching seduction, running out of things to say is one of those common issues that we have to work on with most of our students. Usually a student is ‘running out of things to say’ because he is trying to find the right thing to say in some way, rather than just allowing the conversation to unfold and follow the process of the two of you getting to know each other.

The truth is that creating a great connection with a girl is a lot less about the exact words you say and more about getting to know each other and letting your individual energies bond together.


Now, on another level, as our Inner Game wizard Shae Matthews would tell you, many of you are preventing such a connection from happening in the first place by putting a lot of expectations on both yourself and the girl about how things should happen and what a good interaction should look like. For example, you might have heard from somebody that women are not attracted to nice guys and now, every time you talk to a girl, you put on a mask pretending to be “The Bad Boy”.

Such a rigid mindset can make your relationships toxic and dysfunctional, so I encourage you to develop a more flexible ideology and engage with new people with an open mind in order to reach a higher perspective of truth.



Now, let’s say you’re one of those men that are humble enough to admit they need to learn from scratch how to approach the ladies and you’re willing to keep an open mind while going through the process. Then, the next question you might have is: how do I learn this? The solution most guys find is to ask for advice from their more successful peers or to go and attend courses with so-called “gurus”. Unfortunately, most of those people will only offer you small pieces of technical advice, telling what to do (hopefully they know) in certain situations and how to do it (usually based on only their own personal experience), but not explaining to you the why of the whole process. A surprising truth that I’ve learned by teaching seduction to men like you for more than ten years is that a technical toolkit of seduction skills that works for me will often not produce the same results for others. Once you internalize the five key principles that I have identified, as opposed to a grab bag of techniques, you can develop your own set of approaches to how you engage in these interactions.

What is truly next level is to find yourself a coach that will not only give you drills surrounding these principles and send you to talk to dozens of girls with some feedback, but one that will also be skilled enough to set you up as a self-directed learner. And by that, I mean teaching you to rely more on your natural intuition and less on external feedback to develop your seduction and social skills. A prime example of this teaching methodology is our Executive Coach and my dear friend Jonathan Thomsen with his Play philosophy, which is focused on a number of concepts including developing a sense of child-like wonder, learning through experimentation, using acting skills like improv and voice development and trying to remember the most important thing of all - to have fun: 

Play makes everything fun, so everything is effortless and enjoyable regardless of the outcome. Play allows for experimentation and development. Playing with the body means developing the body as a finely tuned instrument like a performer does. Play is central to learning and when you are a self-directed learner you can make your own rules. That’s the whole point really - to play with reality and enjoy that process of creation.



A TNL workshop is a unique transformative experience. On one side it is a deep dive into your psyche to identify what is blocking you from enjoying meaningful connections with people and expressing your most natural masculine self with women. On the other, it’s a complete exploration of the TNL system of Natural Seduction, all while learning to implement this system in the real world, day and night. Some men, however, no matter how many beautiful women they date or how much wealth they accumulate, still have a sense of unworthiness and lack of purpose. If you’re one of them, the core issue is much less how to communicate with people but how you feel about yourself and how able you are to rally internal resources to be effective in the world, whilst being kind and nurturing to yourself. That’s why I created the Natural Warrior Training, to help men reconnect to their wild nature, heal old traumas, reclaim their manhood and truly express themselves on all levels.

What NWT does is provide you with an intense experience of ancient tribal initiations blended with modern personal enhancement systems. I’ve assembled a team of world class-specialists, from movement, mental and spiritual schools, in order to provide an intense and deep upgrade in the men who join. If you’re looking to reconnect with your primal nature, discover your true purpose and experience a real sense of belonging to a powerful tribe this is the workshop for you.



TNL has always had a holistic approach to dating, approaching and all the aspects of lifestyle design and inner work that go with the process of becoming an empowered man who engages well with women and can build a dynamic and supportive social circle for himself. Each of the coaches brings a unique perspective and challenges you on far more than just the superficial level where technique-based seduction schools operate. TNL means principle-based learning, an attempt to understand the underlying core dynamics of the interaction between a man and a woman. TNL means Natural game in the fullest sense of the word, in that you are discovering and mastering yourself and your relationships with others on the deepest levels.

What do you do to get a really great woman into your life?

Develop yourself as a really great man and discover your true worth in the process.

She’s out there somewhere...

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