20th April 2020
James Marshall

How To Escape The Daily Grind

Take a moment to think about what you commonly do that gets in your way.

Stuck In the Matrix

Let me ask you something.

Do you get stuck in traffic every morning on your way to a job you hate, just to earn money to buy things that will impress people you don’t even like? How did it end up that way? At what point did you get caught in this loop of living a life for someone else, forsaking your dreams to please other people?

The reality is that most people are living their lives this way, and are missing out on the fundamental and beautiful existence of reality itself. In the western world we’re so caught up in looking for external things to fulfil us. Looking for external proof or evidence that we’re worthwhile as individuals, trying to find the keys to happiness.

This ultimately distracts us from the more important things in life. The important things like connecting to the moment, connecting to friends, learning to get into your body and understanding what it means to be embodied.

My question to you is, who do you really want to become?

Living An Intentional Life

That single question is how you start becoming an artist. I don’t mean a painter or dancer, but someone who taps into the art of life. A man who can generate the life that he wants to live, instead of living in a way that will satisfy the world around you but leave you feeling hollow and empty.

The process to creating that life is not what it often seems. Guys commonly have a desire for an easy path or solution, thinking that with limited practice and effort they will get the outcome they want very fast.

Unfortunately there is no simple 3 step method with a clear expectation outlined at the end. But as you let go of the end result, that thing you’re seeking which will finally make you happy and fulfilled, you can embrace the process for what it is. Learn to accept and have room for challenge, difficulty and growth, all things that accompany any journey.

Part of embracing the process is actually embarking on that journey in the first place. Sadly most guys don’t even bother to work towards what they really want in life. We’ve made it incredibly simple for you to start approaching, which is something I’m sure you’ve always wanted to be able to do, by putting together a 3-Week course called the ‘Dating Accelerator’. Over 3 weeks you’ll be learning the essentials you need to start approaching; no dense theory or pick up lines, but just simple nuts and bolts advice on how to approach her, how to strike up a conversation, how to get her number, and how to take her on a date. Click here to learn more about the Dating Accelerator.

If you want a life that is fulfilling with experiences that make you feel alive, it’s really important to get out of your own way. Recognize that you are the narrator and creator of your own story.

Rewriting The Tale

Take a moment to think about what you commonly do that gets in your way.

Do you think about things too much?

Do you often hesitate before taking action?

Are you scared of risks?

Often these are archaic defense mechanisms we established early on to keep us safe. And we can be thankful for them because they got us to where we are today. But ultimately the question becomes:

Are you ready to let go of your old patterns and start living a new life?

You need to recognize that you’re not stuck in the past any more.

There is a living, breathing moment here, right now, that is open for you to connect with. What are you waiting for?

4 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Today

23rd April 2020
James Marshall

4 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Today

Think about the last 12 months of your life.
Would you say much has changed? Or are you still doing the same thing day in day out, not noticing that time is flying by along with all of the wonderful things in life you’re missing out on?

How To Start Making Change

Think about the last 12 months of your life.

Would you say much has changed? Or are you still doing the same thing day in day out, not noticing that time is flying by along with all of the wonderful things in life you’re missing out on?

Watching The Years Go By

Over years of coaching men from around the world I’ve noticed there are some commonalities that they share despite coming from different walks of life.

One of the most pressing problems is that they aren’t happy with their day to day life.

They’re too busy with their daily grind to figure out what they really want, and even if they know what it is they’re too tired from living on someone else’s time to make it happen.

Is this something you can relate to?

Oftentimes it can feel as though you aren’t really ‘living’ life. By this I mean that you’re doing everything you can just to keep your head above the water so that you don’t get swallowed up by the responsibilities and drama that comes along with being an adult.

Most people working a typical full time job wake up and meander around in the morning before heading to work, and don’t finish until 5 or 6pm. That’s their whole day gone before they can devote any more time to things like fitness, spirituality, and other self improvement.

Yet that time is normally swallowed up by other commitments, or isn’t effectively utilized because they’re simply so tired from work.

How are you supposed to ever change this?

To See Is To Believe

Before you even begin to make any changes, you need to really get clarity on what it is that you need to change, and what that change would look like.

So ask yourself these four questions, right here, right now.

“What Do I Hate In My Life?”

Just be honest about what you don’t like about your life, no matter how harsh or cruel it may seem, no matter what emotions it may bring up.

Next, ask yourself:

“What Do I Wish I Did More Of”

Maybe it’s meditating, or meeting more women, or having sex. What is your life lacking at the moment that you need more of?

Third,

“What Do I Want My Life To Be In One Year?”

One year might seem like a long time, but think back to 12 months ago. What was that like? Has much really changed since then?

Finally, ask yourself:

“What would my perfect day look like?”

If you could do anything you want for one day, what would that be?

Perhaps you’re still reading this article, but haven’t actually taken the time to really ask yourself those questions.

It’s incredibly important that you do, because just being aware of what you actually want is the first step towards change.

Without knowing what you’re going for, you’re really walking blind.

Making The Most Of Your Life

One of the most common regrets people have when they’re on their deathbed is not having the courage to live a life that they truly wanted, instead living the life that others expected of them.

On workshops we really challenge our students to start asking deeper questions about who they are, what they want, and how they want to live their lives.

If these questions have highlighted the fact that you don’t have the abundance of women in life that you really want, the best way to get started on changing that is to sign up for my 3-Week Online Video Course, the Dating Accelerator.

I’ve intentionally designed it to be a practical, no-nonsense introduction to approaching for beginners that will teach you everything you need to know from how to stop a woman on the street, to getting her number and taking her on a date. You can find out more information by clicking here.

It might seem like now isn’t the right time to start. That you’ll make a start as soon as the weather gets better, or once you’ve completed your degree, or after you finish that big project at work.

I’m here to tell you that there is never going to be a ‘right’ time to start. The best time to start was yesterday. You’ve already missed the boat on this, because you could have already taken your first steps towards getting the life you want.If you still haven’t answered those questions, go back and read them again. Grab a pen and paper, and make a commitment to yourself to start making some changes.

When Is It Too Late To Approach A Girl?

24th April 2020
James Marshall

When Is It Too Late To Approach A Girl?

By that I mean after you’ve failed to make eye contact or are sitting in front of her for minutes on the subway?

Perfectionism

If you’ve been watching videos or reading about pick up for some time now, you’ve developed an idea in your head about the ‘perfect’ approach, something like:

Make eye contact. Be direct, don't ask for directions to the nearest Starbucks. Then you have to touch, although not creepily, hold tension, but not too much tension, don’t be anxious, but don’t try to NOT be anxious, and if you are anxious make sure that you’re counteracting that with less anxiety. Oh, and get the number.

See, most men in today’s world are working in roles that require this level of detail.

You need to know the in’s and out’s of a system, how something works, how to build something, or fix it.

Perfectionism is ideal in that context, because it eliminates costly errors.

We don’t want engineers building bridges who say “yeah, that will do, let's get lunch”, and then have it fall down 2 months later.

The ‘Approach Window’

Now in Zsombors case, he’s after the perfect ‘approach window’. That sweet spot where she looks at you, and you look at her, and then she smiles, and you smile, and it’s like it was meant to be.

You might be different though. Maybe you wait until nobody is around before you approach, so it’s less embarrassing.

Or you wait for her to take out her headphones…and keep waiting…then realise she’s got no reason to spontaneously take them out so you can talk to her.

Either way, you’re just not approaching at all because you have this MASSIVE list of all these boxes to check off in your head making it so overwhelming to take any action at all.

And that’s ok. A little forgiveness is needed here, because after all you’re learning something new. You’re transitioning from a framework, this perfectionism habit that you’ve relied on for decades into the new unexplored realm of ‘take action and see what happens’.

It's risky, it's scary, and it could all blow up in your face.

Or, something amazing could happen.

Finding Your Moment

So what’s the next step?

In those moments when you’re looking for an opportunity to present itself, you’re actually stuck in your head making excuses.

You’re giving into the thought that you can’t approach her until X happens, and that thought then becomes true. This is a big part of why we teach meditation to our students on workshops, because it helps them to get out of their head and into the present moment.

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned about meditation from over 10 years of study and practice and condensed it into a 6-week online course called the Marshall Meditation Method that’s designed to teach you how to meditate in a practical, no-nonsense way.

The idea is that it’s nice to sit at home on a cushion and achieve a sense of peace, but you actually need it when you’re out and about in the world. Having coached thousands of students in meditation I’ve developed method that enables you to actually apply this state of mindfulness to stressful situations, like say, oh i don’t know, approaching women after you’ve made eye contact! Click here to learn more about the course.

Ultimately, you need to realise that you’re raising the bar too high by trying to get everything perfect. So instead, lower it. Significantly. Even if the new criteria is 'say hello to beautiful girl'. You can’t get any of the other things on the ‘list’ right, if you haven’t even created the opportunity to do those things.

Why Women Test Men

24th April 2020
James Marshall

Why Women Test Men

If you’ve spent any time exploring the theory and literature behind dating, seduction and ‘pick-up artists’, you’ve likely heard about something called a ‘shit test’.

Shit Tests 101

Let me ask you this. Have you ever had a woman just completely lose interest in you in a very sudden manner? Its likely because you weren’t able to pass a test.

Firstly, there is a surface level of testing that women do. They’ll ask a man what he does for a job, observe how he dresses and grooms himself, all to get a basic sense of what kind of man he is.

But beyond that, she will tease and poke him to see how he responds.

See, some men have the look, the clothes, the pose, and can say the right thing, so for all intents and purposes they seem to be the real deal. However women know there is a difference between appearing confident and being confident.

Therefore they have developed ways of prodding men like this to get a response from them.

Oftentimes they’ll find that the guy they thought was confident is actually really reactive, angers easily, is too nice and apologetic, or prone to being forlorn.

Passing The Test

Women test men because they need to separate the little boys from the men. At some stage in her life she’s dated some guy who on the surface looked like he was the shit, but she eventually found out he was a reactive little boy in a man's body.

You’ll know you’re being tested any time you feel like reacting to something. If you’re self aware enough and in the present moment, you’ll be able to spot those shifts in your own state of being where you suddenly feel on the back foot, as though you feel like defending yourself, or perhaps something you’ve said or done.

Know that if a woman is testing you, it’s a good thing. It means she wants to find out more about you, and part of that is finding out how reactive you are.

Being reactive means how you respond to things that are unexpected or not going your way. Examples include her showing up late to a date, a waiter gets your bill wrong, someone cutting you off in traffic.

This tells her what a relationship with you will be like, whether it’s just dating or something more serious. If you yell and scream when she’s late for a date, or if you shut down when she makes fun of you, it’s going to show her everything she needs to know about what kind of man you are.

A lot of men aren’t even aware they are being reactive, or being tested, and only realize it after the fact. The solution to this isn’t having some pre-planned responses or trying to ‘one-up’ the girl, but instead gaining a deeper sense of awareness through meditation. In my online course, the Marshall Meditation Method, I teach a practical way for men to meditate and carry that feeling of self-awareness into their daily lives.

If you think you’ve failed tests in the past, or can’t even recall a woman ever testing you, those are both clear signs that you need to be more self-aware when interacting with women. You can learn more about the Marshall Meditation Method 6-Week Online Course by clicking here.

Turning The Tables

Just in case you were starting to believe that seduction is so one sided, that it’s unfair that women test men but not the other way around, guess again.

It turns out that men test women too! When you’re walking around in the world you’re constantly testing women on their looks, and the ways that they utilise their beauty.

Their hip-to-waist ratio, the size of their breasts, their clothes, their make-up, their hair colour, how they move their body, and so on.

However, as with women testing men, there are different layers. Testing a woman solely on her looks is still very surface level. Even if she is incredibly hot, you’re still going to have to spend time with that person.

If you’re just starting out, maybe you just want to sleep with hotter girls, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. But after a while you might find you need to lift your standards to make sure you actually enjoy hanging out with her too.

Ultimately the end goal of learning seduction is to be able to have choice, and if you’re actively choosing you need to test women to see if they’re worth dating, which includes more than her being hot.

Being Analytical Ruins Your Sex Life

24th April 2020
James Marshall

Being Analytical Ruins Your Sex Life

Does being an analytical thinker make you unique?

The Fallacy Of Being An Analytical Guy

Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I come across on nearly every workshop I run. It occurs so commonly that I think the only way to really get through to you is to just come right out and say it. Here goes.

Being an analytical thinker does NOT make you unique.

The Upside of Being Analytical

Now, if you’re reading this it’s a good chance that you are an analytical thinker. Most of my clients are above average intelligence and working in logical technical fields.

You spend a lot of your time thinking about concepts, philosophizing about things that have happened, are happening and could happen - considering every single angle possible of a problem before taking action.

It’s possible that you’re right now thinking how pissed off you are at me for saying you’re not special, and formulating a cohesively structured logical argument in your mind to prove me wrong.

I’m not saying analysis is a bad thing. Especially if you’re working in a job that requires you to be analytical.

The last thing I want is to be driving across a bridge, built by an engineer who decided his first draft was ‘good enough’, because it will probably collapse and kill me.

...and the Downside

However, it DOES become a problem when you start to wear it as a badge of honor, as though it makes you special.

If your thinking habits are making seduction harder, you need to really ask yourself if it’s worth the trade off. The problem is that when you are so invested in analysis you can’t shift into the more creative, loose way of thinking needed to approach women.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard guys say “my mind works differently than everyone else”.

The truth is that effective seducers do not use analysis when approaching and seducing women. They use presence, spontaneous flow and real time re-calibration by reading the situation through their senses rather than by thinking through the problem.

Analysis is Your Enemy in Seduction.

Trust me, I’ve been there. As a teenager I thought that I was the only one who was considering the deeper spiritual and philosophical meanings to life.

That all of the meatheads didn’t have the mental capacity to transverse the intricacies that my mind could.

That is, until I discovered meditation. A way for me to observe my thoughts instead of thinking that I WAS my thoughts.

Part of my motivation for creating the Marshall Meditation Method, my six week online course designed to teach a comprehensive yet practical meditation system, was to help guys who are stuck in their heads all day, just like I was. To show them that it’s possible to stop overthinking and shift their focus to being in the present moment.

That they aren’t a one dimensional being, that ‘analytical thinker’ isn’t the only way to describe themselves. That they can be spontaneous, and fun, and free, and flowing in the moment. They can experience life as it is, now, in reality, instead of inside of their heads. If you want to learn more about the course click HERE for full details.

Remember, if you are an analytical guy it doesn’t mean you suddenly need to forsake that part of yourself. Obviously there are times in life when it is useful, but recognize that there is a whole other side to you that is creative, spontaneous and playful which has been repressed for a long time and NEEDS to come out if you ever hope to get better with women.

Dealing With Objections

24th April 2020
James Marshall

Dealing With Objections

What To Say To Women Who Have Been Approached Before?

What To Say To Women Who Have Been Approached Before

If you’ve been out approaching you might have encountered a woman who has been approached before, or might not be very open to it happening and try to leave.

So how do you get her comfortable enough to stay? Should you just ‘plow’ through it and pretend it’s not happening, or deal with it there and then?

The Plowing Problem

In the old days dating coaches used to teach something called ‘plowing’. The basic idea is that any time a woman gives you an objection, whether it’s that she’s busy and can’t talk to you, or that she doesn’t give her numbers out to strangers, you should just ignore it and push past it.

It works off an assumption that women are easily distracted, and that by drawing her attention to something else and spiking her emotions in some way you can move through the objection.

The trouble is that you’re never actually dealing with what’s happening there and then.

This might not seem like big deal to her in the moment, but it can slowly spiral out of control if she’s not careful, and get her caught up in a bad situation. A guy who doesn’t notice she’s uncomfortable being touched could easily become aggressive and forceful.

This is what women mean when they say something or someone is creepy. That they’re unable to pick up on social cues enough to understand that someone isn’t comfortable or open to something, and just keep pushing past it.

Finding The Balance

So what should you do instead?

Sometimes men will get reactive when women give them objections. They’ll get angry or fall into a defensive position because they feel like they’ve done something wrong.

Other times men will become apologetic, saying sorry for approaching them, which really comes across as “sorry for being a man and finding you attractive”. Not exactly the most empowering position to be in.

The middle line is to just simply acknowledge the objection.

A common complaint women have is that they don’t feel seen and heard by men, which often times is because men just aren’t paying attention, or are afraid to ruin their chances and so they opt for saying nothing.

As you’ll see in the in-field video, I approach a woman who knows about guys running around NYC approaching.

I didn’t defend myself by saying “I’m not like that”, or apologize for approaching her, I just reaffirmed what she said, and asked some questions.

That’s it.

Paying Attention

So if this is something you’d like to get better at, how do you learn to pay more attention when you’re meeting women?

The single most useful tool that has helped me to do this is meditation, and I’ll tell you why.

In the Marshall Meditation Method online course I teach a form of meditation that is all about practical implementation. This means that instead of sitting around on a cushion in your house and meditation, only to leave all of that mindfulness behind, you carrying that sense of presence and awareness into your day.

Not only that, but in those moments when you feel like you need to apologize or get reactive, you can instead notice what’s happening internally, then take a step in another direction. You can learn more about meditation and my online course by clicking HERE.

Developing this sense of awareness helps not only when you’re approaching women, but also on dates and in the bedroom.

In all of these environments you’re going to encounter objections from women, and sometimes they might not even be spoken verbally. If you can notice them and call them out, it makes you instantly more attractive to women because they feel like you truly see and hear them, something most men aren’t able to offer them.

When Should You Start Approaching Hotter Girls?

25th April 2020
James Marshall

When Should You Start Approaching Hotter Girls?

When it comes to approaching, if you have very little experience with women should you be matching your standards to your skill?”

Punching Above Your Weight In Seduction

When it comes to approaching, if you have very little experience with women should you be matching your standards to your skill?”

I actually hear this question a lot as I’m constantly interacting with men of a varied level of skill, from guys who are brand new to approaching on our workshops to more advanced students wanting to date models and have threesomes.

It can be a confusing conundrum. On one hand, if you only ever go for the girls that are WAY hotter than you’ve gotten before, you might end up getting frustrated and burnt out from the lack of results. At the same time, it can feel really lousy just dating ordinary girls and feeling like you deserve better.

Back In My Day...

When I look back to starting out in 2006, I approached all sorts of girls.

I hate to use a crude number scale rating, but I had sex with a bunch of girls I would now lovingly call “friendly five’s” and “saucy sixes”.

To be real with you, I had some great times fucking chubby girls or pretty girls with something weird going on like a lazy eye or an odd body. They were sexy and had something going on, but just weren’t that hot.

At the time I had so much to learn about sex, women, and how the whole seduction process actually worked. These were the girls who would give me the time of day considering my growing skill set, and so I took that opportunity to share a great time with a girl and to learn something.

Learning The Ropes

If you’re just starting out like I was, the early days can be a sweet space to be in and one that you should enjoy.

That’s not to say I didn’t approach the stunners either. Not all the time, admittedly. Sometimes I would pussy out. But the ones that I did get, here and there, were incredible learning experiences for me.

I either figured things out as I went along, adjusting as need be and picking up after myself, or saw a gaping hole in my skill set that needed to be addressed.

This process of constantly reflecting on my abilities and refining them was eventually consolidated in a course I’ve put together called the ‘Dating Accelerator’. I was lucky enough during this beginner stage to have a group of role models around me who I could learn from, and a keen determination to get this handled no matter what the cost.

Meanwhile I know a lot of guys starting out don’t have that same atmosphere or drive, and those early disappointments, girls flaking, harsh rejections, walking home empty handed can take it’s toll. By taking the ‘Dating Accelerator’ online course you’ll ensure you have a solid understanding of the key fundamentals you need to make this period a lot smoother so you can get to the good part. Be sure to check it out by clicking here.

Putting Yourself In HER Shoes

If you’re only going for amazing women, and you can’t compete with guys who have a higher sexual marketplace value than you, you’re going to have a really hard time. I’m talking about guys that are more attractive than you, have more to offer, are more connected or who have better game.

Take a moment to put yourself in her shoes.

Let’s say it’s a young girl, maybe 19, and she’s a model. She’s living in a world where she is professionally beautiful, and needs to be interacting with some big players, professional photographers, event managers, club promoters, you get the idea.

When she meets you, she’s going to be asking herself “What’s in it for me? He wants to fuck me, but so does every other guy!”.

See what I mean?

That’s not to say you won’t get there eventually. But for now, you need to be realistic about what level you’re at, and what results you can expect. Take stock of your current situation and just focus on the next step, not getting to the top of the mountain from base camp.

Uncomfortable Talking About Sex?

25th April 2020
James Marshall

Uncomfortable Talking About Sex?

How comfortable are you talking about sex with a woman you’re attracted to?

Why Sex Is Hard To Talk About

How comfortable are you talking about sex with a woman you’re attracted to?

In today’s video I sat down with Theodora, one of our role-play models here at The Natural Lifestyles who joins us on workshops to work 1 on 1 with guys, helping them to be more comfortable expressing themselves sexually.

After coaching guys for many years I’ve observed a whole bunch of strategies that guys have to deal with the pressure that comes along with talking about sex.

But where does this pressure come from? I mean, nobody feels awkward about discussing their favourite movie, or what they typically order at Starbucks.

So why should sex be any different?

Misguided Beliefs About Sex

A large part of it has to do with sex being so taboo. After all, most of us are living in societies founded on religions which had strict views on sex. These have then evolved into social norms and stigmas about what is and isn’t acceptable.

And maybe part of it has to do with our evolutionary biology and the way we evolved to interact with each other socially.

But instead of delving into the theory side of things it's much more productive to talk about how this shows up in your life, and what to do about it.

One of the core areas I focus on in my online course,Sex God Masterclass, is your beliefs about sex. Whether or not you’ve ever explored this realm of your psyche I can guarantee they’re influencing how you act around women you want to sleep with, and as a result, how much sex you have.

If you’re interested in having an expert guide you through this process of self-discovery and give you the tools you need to change your beliefs, you can learn more about the course by clicking here.

Whatever the cause may be, talking about sex with a girl who you’re not currently sleeping with brings with it a degree of tension. You’re not sure if what you’re saying will offend her, or if it's rude to talk about it, or how that will affect your chances on sleeping with her in the future.

This underlying tension will then influence how you talk about sex.

“Just Act Natural”...

As humans we naturally shy away from anything that brings discomfort. So when you find yourself in a situation where sex is being discussed, maybe because you’re in a group discussion with her friends, or you pass by a lingerie store and she comments on a piece she likes, that discomfort will instantly hit you, forcing you to respond.

Some guys will ignore the topic altogether. Maybe they’ll say “oh, I don’t really like it, but I guess if it’s your thing that’s fine”. In essence this is a rejection of her expression of her sexuality. She’s trying to share her sexual world with you, and you’re basically saying “no thanks”.

Other guys will try to diffuse the tension through humour. Making crude jokes like “yeah, one time I saw a stripper wearing a piece just like” which, whilst alleviating the tension, again shuts down her invitation to talk about sex with you.

The best response is to act is a natural way.

Easier said than done, right?

I’m not going to give away all of my secrets today, but I want to assure you that there is room for growth here. Once you’re able to express your sexuality in a way that feels natural to you, you’re going to be opening up a lot of doors with the women you come across in life.

You’ll be able to show that you’re not embarrassed by sex, that you’re not ashamed of your sexual urges, and when it comes to being in the bedroom she’ll know it’s not going to be an awkward experience where you’re constantly making jokes to ease the tension, or even shaming her for sleeping with you.

Ever Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough For Women?

25th April 2020
James Marshall

Ever Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough For Women?

For whatever reason, a lot of guys believe that they don’t deserve what they desire. Maybe it’s women, or maybe it’s money, or success, or happiness.

Deserving The Best

Imagine what it would be like if you felt like you were entitled to the woman of your dreams.

I mean truly, like you really deserved her and not once, even for a second, doubted that you were worthy of her.

What would that be like?

How would you speak to her? Touch her? Look at her?

What thoughts would run through your head? How would it affect the other areas of your life, work, family, interacting with other women?

I think for most guys they aspire to reach a point one day when they really do feel like they deserve that woman. The smart ones recognize they need to do a lot of work on themselves if they’re ever going to get there. The rest delude themselves into thinking they’re already there…

But for now, it’s likely that you’re carrying around some kind of limiting belief about women which is holding you back.

Feeling Unworthy

After being a dating coach for over 10 years I can safely say that every man has at least one limiting belief, and they vary widely.

Some guys think that women won’t like them because they’re not tall enough.

Others think they need to have more of something…money…status…looks.

Occasionally I coach guys who are from certain racial backgrounds that feel leaves them at a disadvantage with women.

Yet these can all be summed up in a single belief, which may vary semantically, but is thematically singular.

“I’m not worthy”.

For whatever reason, guys believe that they don’t deserve what they desire. Maybe it's women, or maybe it's money, or success, or happiness.

After some deduction it can seem that this belief is very black and white. The opposite of “I’m not worthy” is, one may assume “I am worthy”.

Yet does that mean there are some men out there who are completely deluding themselves 100% of the time into thinking that they deserve the best of everything no matter what? I mean, maybe there are, but I’d easily slot them into the sociopath/psychopath category, because they’d be completely blind to any and all external feedback from the world.

Rather it’s more like a spectrum.

If you’re on the side of feeling completely unworthy, that’s going to reflect in your day to day life: how you walk, talk, interact with people, even how you view your future and set goals.

But moving out of that space doesn’t have to mean fooling yourself into thinking that everything is perfect and that you’re the greatest thing to ever grace the earth, because you’re not, and never will be.

Instead, what if you shifted the slider over a little? What if you started thinking like those guys out there who, for the most part, save for the hard times in their lives, generally felt and believed they were worthy of the women they desired?

How would a man like that walk? What would he say to people, and how would he say it? How would he look at women? What interpretation would he have about events that didn’t go his way?

Defining The Meaning Of Rejection

Let’s take approaching as an example. When guys first start out on workshops they’re often hyper aware of the mistakes they’re making. They instantly interpret their ‘bad approaches’ or ‘rejections’ as failure, as though they have done something wrong, or more accurately, that it is a reflection of some deep and dark flaw within them.

And yeah, often times there is room for improvement when it comes to their approaching and seduction skills, which is the value of coaching. Having experts there who have been through what you’re experiencing and can guide you to improve. If you’re in need of some tips to get started, I’ve put together a 3 week beginners course called the Dating Accelerator. By the end of the course you’ll know all of the basic nuts and bolts you need to start approaching women in your day to day life, including what to say as an opener, how to structure conversations, and getting her phone number. You can learn more by clicking here.

But even the way they interpret it can be changed. If a woman rejects you, it doesn't always have to mean that you’re unworthy of her. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. Or maybe her cat died. Or maybe the barista gave her regular milk instead of soy milk and she’s had terrible gas all morning (might make you reconsider a date with that hot Russian model you approached…)

Who knows? The important thing is that it doesn’t necessarily have to mean something about you.

So start thinking about the negative beliefs you have about yourself, or about women, or even the world. What is the opposite of that belief?

Write down how a person would walk, talk, behave and operate in the world. Then try on some of those behaviours or attitudes for the day. Notice how people treat you, and notice how you feel about your life in general. The results will surely surprise you.

Do Dating Workshops Really Work?

27th April 2020
James Marshall

Do Dating Workshops Really Work?

…and will it work personally for you?

Sometimes, taking a dating workshop isn't so much about a guaranteed result and more about what you want for yourself and your life

Today I want to talk about the most common fear most guys have about attending a dating workshop, and maybe this is something you can relate to.

Of course guys have understandable fears around approaching, a niggling sense that they're not good enough for really amazing women but these tend to get cleared up in the early days as they have lived experiences of moving through their anxiety and getting great responses from women.

Simply put, some part of them always wonders “will this work for me?”.

To be honest, it's always a tough question to answer.

I know that most guys want some kind of quantitative answer.

Defining Success

Something I consistently notice when meeting clients at the beginning of a workshop is how much time they’ve spent over-analyzing all of the problems in their life, how terrible they are with women and what’s stopping them from approaching. But they spend little time thinking about what they actually want.

Sure, they might say they want to “be able to approach” or “spend time around the coaches”. But those aren’t really goals.

To clear up the confusion, ask yourself this:

If you had just completed a workshop with The Natural Lifestyles, how would you KNOW that it had been a success for you?

What would you be able to do? What changes would you see in yourself as a man? How would you feel?

Because the answer to that question is what will determine whether or not a workshop will work for you.

If you aim to leave a workshop having had a threesome with two playboy bunnies, then I can safely say that it’s an unrealistic goal for a workshop and probably not going to happen. It’s not to say that can’t happen for you in the future (and if it does please email me with the story!), but it’s just not what we’re out to do.

Our primary focus for our clients is to help them express themselves to women in an authentic way. Mind you, this isn’t the same as the self-help cliche of ‘be yourself’, because I can guarantee there are a bunch of things you’re doing right now when meeting women that are blowing your chances, and it’s likely that you don’t even register what they are.

What we really need to do is take you through a process of balancing. Taking a look at all of the things you’re doing too much of (saying sorry, talking to fast, nodding for no reason) and toning them down.

Then, looking at all of the things you’re not doing enough, and amping them up. Being aware of your emotions and hers. Expressing your sexual intent. Holding pressure.

But that’s just the workshop itself. The real journey begins after the workshop, when you’re back home and left to your own devices.

This, I think, is what most guys worry about when they wonder about taking a workshop. It’s easy to approach when you have myself at your side, but what about when you get back home?

Learning To Motivate Yourself

It’s a good thing to think about because ultimately we cannot do the work for you. Imagine spending a week with one of the best personal trainers in the world. Someone who can give you an optimal work-out plan, breaking down each movement into its simplest parts, telling you what to eat, when to eat, and even how to stretch.

And then imagine finishing your time with that trainer. Would you be motivated to go to the gym? Maybe at first. But what about a few weeks later when you get caught up in that project at work? Or you have to fly out of town for a wedding? Or Christmas rolls around and you stuff your face with turkey?

If you expect the trainer to knock on your door each morning, pull the covers off and carry you on their shoulder to the gym, your expectations are way out of alignment.

At the same time, if you expect us to give you some magic pill or wave a wand and suddenly transform you into someone who is motivated and hardworking, you’re kidding yourself.

Ultimately, we can show you the way up the mountain, but you’re the one who has to climb it.

So instead of asking “will a dating workshop work for me?”, instead ask yourself “how badly do I want this and what am I prepared to do and commit to, in order to succeed?"

Because it’s not how good looking you are or how many girls you’ve slept with that determines success when it comes to cold approach seduction. It’s simply how you’re going to react when things start to get tough. When you go through 20 approaches and each girl has a boyfriend. When you’re moments away from sleeping with the hottest girl you’ve ever met and she turns you down. When you fall madly in love with a girl who came out of nowhere and things don’t work out.

Will you be someone who pushes through and finds a way to keep going? Or someone who gives up, declares it’s too hard, and becomes bitter about women and the world?

With all that in mind, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least try.

At the very least you'll come away from the workshop with massive amount of reference experiences with women, world class training in the absolute best strategies for seduction and pathways to inner game advances that will gradually unfold in your subconscious. You'll have real proof that women can find you attractive, that you are capable of moving through your fears and that there is infinite potential of who you could meet and what magic you can create. Even if you don't actively cold approach, you will at least pick off the easier shots in your social circle, at work, online etc.

Of course as your coaches we want to see much much more out of you than your bare minimum, so that you achieve your ultimate potential.

As a final thought, it’s very possible that you aren’t ready for a workshop. Maybe you’ve been burned before by doing one with another coach or company, or having been following us long enough to build up that level of trust. In that case I always recommend guys check out the Dating Accelerator. I put this course together not only to teach beginners how to approach in a practical, nuts and bolts manner, but also to help calm their fears about being coached by us. You can learn more about the course by clicking here.

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