2nd April 2020
James Marshall

What Is Love?

Struggling to pin down what this odd combination of emotions, thoughts and sensations is, where it is, and how it always seems to make us do crazy, stupid things.

How To Tell If You’re In Love

Ah, the age old question that philosophers, poets, novelists and artists of all kinds have been trying to answer for eons. Struggling to pin down what this odd combination of emotions, thoughts and sensations is, WHERE it is, and how it always seems to make us do crazy, stupid things.

If you’re a guy who has spent most of his life single and alone, its particularly important for you to pay attention to the feelings you develop for women.

Whether you’re using what you learn from our videos to finally ask that girl out you’ve been pining over for months, or you have started approaching women on the street, you’re at a high risk to confuse love with intense feelings for a girl.

Curing Desperation

A common tale we hear from guys after a workshop goes something like this:

"I spent my whole life wondering when I’d meet that next girl. This meant going months, often years without sex. And now, I’ve got the confidence and skills to meet as many women as I like. But there’s this one special girl I approached recently, and well, I’ve decided I want to settle down into a relationship with her. In fact, I think I love her."

Tell me, can you see the problem here?

A guy has gone from being completely lonely and desperate, to suddenly finding a girl who will sleep with him, and coincidentally she just HAPPENS to be the girl he’s fallen in love with.

Is this a fairy tale ending? Or a guy shooting himself in the foot?

Seeing The Forest For The Trees

What’s really going on here is that a guy is still operating under the same mindsets and programming he was before. There are many things we can do on a workshop for our clients, but one of the things we cannot do is make decisions for them after the workshop.

When it comes time to getting back home and meeting women in their day to day life, men are ultimately left to their own devices. And if they haven’t really understood the true extent of the abundance that is now waiting for them in the wide world of women, they’re going to settle for the first girl they meet.

What they think of as ‘love’ is really just a bundle of emotions that comes along with finally being accepted and seen by someone. Finally having a woman like them enough to sleep with them.

The simplest way to recognise what’s really going on is to look at the type of connection you have with a girl.

Is it just a physical/sexual connection? If she stopped sleeping with you, would you still want to hang out with her?

Or maybe it’s an intellectual mental connection? If the sex stopped, maybe you’d love being friends because you could still have enjoyable conversations?

Maybe there is a deeper emotional connection, but you need to really think about why you feel that connection. Is there going to be more to this than just the initial infatuation that lasts for the first weeks or months?

Do you share the same values? Do you enjoy the simple things, like doing laundry together or cooking meals?

Like any guy these are questions I had to answer on my own journey, which you can read more about in my book, A Natural History. There are times when I met women who I truly felt something for, yet had to make a critical decision as to whether I wanted to pursue something further with her, or keep my eye on my bigger vision.

The Big Picture

At the end of the day, eventually you will meet a woman who you do love and want to develop a deeper relationship with. However, this does not mean that you’ll fall in love with every woman that you meet, or that because a woman has sex with you it means you should love her.

Keep your eye on the big picture. Most of the time guys get into relationships thinking its the best thing for them at the time, only to wake up 2 years later and realise they’ve wasted an enormous amount of time. Don’t let that be you. Stay focused on why you’re doing this, why it’s important for you to get better with women, and what the end goal looks like.

Get Sexual, Not Creepy

4th April 2020
James Marshall

Get Sexual, Not Creepy

How are you able to express your sexual intent clearly, without being perceived as a creep?

How To Express Your Sexual Intent Without Being Creepy

In today’s world most men are terrified of touching women in a sexual way, and for good reason.

With the heightened awareness around sexual assault and harassment, along with the allegations, media coverage and drama that goes along with it, all you have to do is turn on the nightly news and be terrified out of your mind by the way women feel about being touched inappropriately.

So what’s a guy to do?

How are you able to express your sexual intent clearly through touch, without being perceived as a creep?

In A Monochrome World

Before I go any further, I need to explain what needs to happen in order for a woman to accuse a guy of being creepy.

See, women aren’t always exactly black and white about their boundaries. They’re very comfortable expressing what they don’t want, but not so much what they do want.

It’s not like you’ll be sitting at a bar, chatting with a woman, and have her lean over to say

“You know what? You’re a great guy! I’ve given it some careful consideration, and having spoken to you for well over 5 minutes I’d be really happy if you went ahead and put your hand on my thigh”.

Never going to happen. She might make subtle suggestions or give hints, but even those can be hard to misinterpret or not see altogether.

This would end a lot of confusion on our behalf as men because those direct statements would make things SO MUCH EASIER!

Yet I hope you can appreciate that for a woman, it ruins some of the excitement. It takes away the subtext of the interaction between you. The dance. The passion. The internal struggle between wanting something, but needing to follow certain social protocols and rules, even if she doesn’t fully agree with those.

Being A Creep

So what is it about escalating and touching women that leaves you so open to be called a creep, with your picture featured on the 11 o’clock news?

It’s simply the inability to perceive and interpret her boundaries.

See, getting into a woman’s space and showing sexual intent isn’t just a one way thing. It’s the two of you communicating on a subtle level about how comfortable you are being in each others space. Whenever you escalate, you need to be observing how it makes her feel, whether it’s uncomfortable or if she’s enjoying it. If it’s clear that you’ve gone too far or it’s weird, you need to back off.

How do you gain this awareness? Meditation.

It might sound really strange, because meditation is all about sitting on a cushion and doing...well...nothing. And there might be some chanting, bald monks with ringing bells thrown into the mix.

In the Marshall Meditation Method online course the core skill I teach is awareness. This is the ability to just perceive the present moment as it is, without any kind of filter or coloured interpretation.

Most men don’t really have this skillset since it’s not something that is taught in school, or belive will help them to be good with women.

But the more aware you are of what a woman is experiencing, the better you’ll be at knowing when and how to touch. If this sounds like a skill you need to learn, you can find out more about the 5 Week Online course by clicking here.

Following The Signs

Whenever you make a move on a woman, she’ll have a reaction of some kind. Taking our previous example, let’s say you’re chatting with a woman and after a couple of minutes place your hand on her thigh.

Now she might physically grab your hand and move it away, which is a really clear sign that she isn’t ok with it.

Or, she might glance down at it and shift uncomfortably in her seat. It’s probably wise to back off and give her some more time to get comfortable with you.

Then again, she could place her hand on your hand, or even on your thigh. That’s certainly a good sign.

The core of all escalation between a man and a woman is a process of you putting forth your intentions, communicating your sexual desire, and having the awareness to see how you’re affecting her.

The amount of control you have over how she perceives your intentions is limited. She might have a boyfriend, not be interested in you in that way, or simply not be ready for that yet.

Yet what you can control is your awareness. Are you going to pay attention to her response, thereby acknowledging and respecting her boundaries? Or are you going to ‘plow’ forward without any concern for her response or experience?

Not only will she appreciate your insight, but she may even begin wondering how that raised awareness improves other parts of your life, say, your ability to please her in the bedroom...

How To Approach A Group Of Girls

4th April 2020
Inna

How To Approach A Group Of Girls

(Without Making A Fool Of Yourself!)

A student recently asked me a question about approaching girls when they’re bunched together in groups. Not just 2 friends walking together, but a bigger group of say 4 or more people.

It’s natural to find the idea of approaching a group of women incredibly nerve wracking, because you’re taking all of the pressure of approaching one woman and multiplying it.

So what’s the best way to approach girls in groups?

An Important Skill

Sometimes you’ll see an amazing girl, but she’s surrounded by a group of friends. If you don’t practice this, then you’re always going to feel shortchanged when these opportunities come around.

More importantly, you need to know how to do this in other social situations as well. If you’re at a party and don’t know anyone, how many opportunities will you have to approach one person standing by themselves? It’s more likely that they’ll be clumped together.

And then there are networking events where it’s important to make a good impression. The next person you talk to might be your future boss, and if you fumble the introduction you could miss out on an excellent opportunity.

Straight To The Point

Whenever you're approaching a group, it’s best to be direct.

This means giving people a very clear intention of why you’re there.

When it comes to a group of women, if you lack clarity and intention when you approach, people can get very uncomfortable because you’ve suddenly upset the status quo.

A new person has joined the group, for reasons unknown, and as one person becomes uncomfortable, the others will feel it too. Very soon that awkwardness spreads like a virus, and they’ll become focused on driving out it’s source; YOU.

If you’re still not sure about how to approach in a direct manner, it’s something I cover in my introductory course, the ‘Dating Accelerator’. Many guys have no idea where or how to start when it comes to seduction and meeting new women, so I’ve designed a 3-week online video course that will teach you everything you need to know as a beginner.

Being direct can be confusing for some as it can seem like something creepy; giving women unwanted attention on the street. But the truth is that it’s far creepier to approach women with no intention at all, because they’ll be left wondering what you want and why you’re there. Click here to learn more about the course so you can start being direct in your interactions with women.

Finding Your Style

As you progress on your seduction journey, it’s important to at least try all of the different aspects of seduction; approaching groups, nightclub game, same-day lays and so on.

But it doesn’t mean you have to master everything. If that is really your goal, it’s likely that you’re focused more on your ego or persona as a ‘pua’ rather than having a pure intention of meeting and spending time with more women.

What really matters in the long run is finding what suits you. So ask yourself; Do you really like meeting girls in a group? Or would you rather meet them one on one? Does the idea of feeding off a group’s energy and being the centre of attention thrill you, or would you rather build an intimate connection with just you and her?

Numbers vs. Facebook: The Final Verdict

6th April 2020
James Marshall

Numbers vs. Facebook: The Final Verdict

Sometimes when you’re ready to ask a girl out, it can feel like all of this pressure has been building up until this one single moment.
Part of you is expecting that it’s not going to go as planned. As though hearing her say “sure, here’s my number” seems almost too easy.

Knowing Where You Stand

If you’ve been out approaching women you’ve likely heard a lot of different responses from women when you ask them out.

Sometimes they might tell you they don’t give their number out to random strangers.

Other times they might sidestep altogether and simply offer to be Facebook friends.

But really, those two are your best options.

Anything beyond that is a depressing decline into the stark realization that this girl has absolutely no interest in seeing you again. I’m talking about her offer to let you follow her on Instagram. Or maybe snapchat.

Or the worst of the worst, swapping email addresses.

“Sure, I’ll take your email address! It’s not like my well thought out and articulate email is going to get lost in a tide of spam, sale announcements and other internet flotsam!”.

Why Numbers Aren’t Always Best

So if we boil it down to either Facebook or a phone number, which is best?

At first instinct you might say phone number, because it’s more personal, right? She could have over a thousand Facebook friends, but it’s unlikely she has 1,000+ phone contacts.

Then again, to make the assumption that her giving you her number means that she likes you more doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best way to go.

See, the variable here is always going to be her preference for how people contact her.

Perhaps she just hates giving out her number because she’s had bad experiences in the past.

Maybe she wants your Facebook because it’s easier to block you if things go south.

Or it’s possible that she doesn’t even have a phone number in the country she’s in because she’s traveling.

But what you can control is how you put your best foot forward.

Pimp My Profile

When you’re approaching women you seldom have 15 minutes to stand there and get to know each other. In this context, a number would seem more appropriate because something has been established.

However if you’ve only been talking for 3-4 minutes and then swap numbers, you’re relying on text and emoji’s to rekindle the spark that led her to giving you her number.

This can lead to a lot of flakes and disappointments, which is very common for beginners to deal with. In my online course, the Dating Accelerator, I teach practical ways for beginners to leave a lasting impact on the women that they meet so that they’re more likely to meet up with her again. You can find out more information by clicking here.

In comparison to swapping numbers, Facebook presents her with a rundown of what kind of guy you are, from your pictures to your updates to everything in between.

This is where swapping Facebook profiles shines. If you’ve taken the time to upload some decent photos, and give the overall impression that you lead an interesting life, you’ll spike some curiosity in her to at least take a chance on you.

That being said, don’t let that be another excuse to stop you from approaching women. You don’t need to invest months creating a better profile when that time could be spent approaching women.

Ultimately you need to be out there taking action. I wouldn’t worry about fine tuning your Facebook profile until you’re actually at the stage where you’re approaching and asking out a lot of women.

How Meditation Saved My Life

6th April 2020
James Marshall

How Meditation Saved My Life

James Marshall’s Story Of Depression and Suicide

What are you thinking about right now as you read this? You’re probably hearing the words in your head as you read this blog post.

But what else are you thinking? Are you having thoughts about getting back to work? Or what you’re going to eat next? Maybe wondering if you should have approached that cute girl you saw today.

That voice in your head, that sounds like you constantly running commentary on your day, worrying about the future, mulling over the past, clammering to the next idea, desire, or fear.

Seeing The Self

Have you ever stopped for a moment and considered that you are not your thoughts?

It’s crazy I know. If you have a narrative going on inside of your head, and they’re your thoughts, how can it not be you?

Well, the truth is that your thoughts are just small aspect of your psyche – an internal dialogue created from your experiences, upbringing, socialization, exposure to media and other random elements. Although it’s the most obvious representation of yourself you usually notice, these thoughts don’t actually define you as a person.

If you’re someone who always thinks negative thoughts, who always beats himself up and can’t escape the constant overthinking, getting entangled in your thinking leads to ineffective behaviours and general unhappiness in life.

However by learning to step back and observe your thoughts as merely brief manifestations passing through your mind, you can learn to become relaxed and objective, allowing thoughts to come and go while keeping a more balanced peaceful internal position.

Discovering Awareness

In meditation we call this awareness or mindfulness. This is the foundation of the meditation system I teach in the Marshall Meditation Method, which I’ve packed into a 6 week online video course designed to teach you mindfulness, whether you’ve never meditated before or have tried it but found it didn’t work.

You can hear more about the origins of my meditation method in the epic hour long video about in this article which tells the story of how I traveled through India and China to learn from the greatest masters, studying many forms of spirituality, martial arts and philosophy.

Awareness meditation gives you the ability to disconnect from the internal dialogue and just observe your thoughts, kind of like watching cars go by on the street. If you’re interested in learning more about the online course, the Marshall Meditation Method, click here for full details.

A Practical Approach

So if you’re out walking the streets for example and you see a beautiful girl, the thoughts you have in that moment like “she probably has a boyfriend” or “she’s probably really busy”, “This will never work” aren’t actually the truth. Those opinions don’t define you. They’re just thoughts. And if you stall and choke and can’t approach and think “I have approach anxiety”, again that’s just another thought.

When you learn to just observe and allow your thoughts to pass, you’ll be able to regain control of your state and intent and take positive action despite doubts and excuses passing through you.

This is the power of being able to meditate. Being able to disconnect from the thoughts you’re having and thinking they’re true, and instead just observing them for what they are.

Next time you think a negative thought like “I can’t approach her because I don’t know what to say”, notice the thought, then ask yourself “is it true? Is this the objective truth or just my nervous internal reaction to the situation”. Then take a deep breath, feel your feet, then all the way up to your head, breathe out and go and find out.

Are You Really Happy?

25th April 2020
James Marshall

When Should You Start Approaching Hotter Girls?

When it comes to approaching, if you have very little experience with women should you be matching your standards to your skill?”

Punching Above Your Weight In Seduction

When it comes to approaching, if you have very little experience with women should you be matching your standards to your skill?”

I actually hear this question a lot as I’m constantly interacting with men of a varied level of skill, from guys who are brand new to approaching on our workshops to more advanced students wanting to date models and have threesomes.

It can be a confusing conundrum. On one hand, if you only ever go for the girls that are WAY hotter than you’ve gotten before, you might end up getting frustrated and burnt out from the lack of results. At the same time, it can feel really lousy just dating ordinary girls and feeling like you deserve better.

Back In My Day...

When I look back to starting out in 2006, I approached all sorts of girls.

I hate to use a crude number scale rating, but I had sex with a bunch of girls I would now lovingly call “friendly five’s” and “saucy sixes”.

To be real with you, I had some great times fucking chubby girls or pretty girls with something weird going on like a lazy eye or an odd body. They were sexy and had something going on, but just weren’t that hot.

At the time I had so much to learn about sex, women, and how the whole seduction process actually worked. These were the girls who would give me the time of day considering my growing skill set, and so I took that opportunity to share a great time with a girl and to learn something.

Learning The Ropes

If you’re just starting out like I was, the early days can be a sweet space to be in and one that you should enjoy.

That’s not to say I didn’t approach the stunners either. Not all the time, admittedly. Sometimes I would pussy out. But the ones that I did get, here and there, were incredible learning experiences for me.

I either figured things out as I went along, adjusting as need be and picking up after myself, or saw a gaping hole in my skill set that needed to be addressed.

This process of constantly reflecting on my abilities and refining them was eventually consolidated in a course I’ve put together called the ‘Dating Accelerator’. I was lucky enough during this beginner stage to have a group of role models around me who I could learn from, and a keen determination to get this handled no matter what the cost.

Meanwhile I know a lot of guys starting out don’t have that same atmosphere or drive, and those early disappointments, girls flaking, harsh rejections, walking home empty handed can take it’s toll. By taking the ‘Dating Accelerator’ online course you’ll ensure you have a solid understanding of the key fundamentals you need to make this period a lot smoother so you can get to the good part. Be sure to check it out by clicking here.

Putting Yourself In HER Shoes

If you’re only going for amazing women, and you can’t compete with guys who have a higher sexual marketplace value than you, you’re going to have a really hard time. I’m talking about guys that are more attractive than you, have more to offer, are more connected or who have better game.

Take a moment to put yourself in her shoes.

Let’s say it’s a young girl, maybe 19, and she’s a model. She’s living in a world where she is professionally beautiful, and needs to be interacting with some big players, professional photographers, event managers, club promoters, you get the idea.

When she meets you, she’s going to be asking herself “What’s in it for me? He wants to fuck me, but so does every other guy!”.

See what I mean?

That’s not to say you won’t get there eventually. But for now, you need to be realistic about what level you’re at, and what results you can expect. Take stock of your current situation and just focus on the next step, not getting to the top of the mountain from base camp.

Uncomfortable Talking About Sex?

2nd July 2020
James Marshall

True Masculinity In A Post-Corona World

Modern men are denied a clear call to their masculine hero’s journey and unable to satisfy their most primal instincts. This ”lack“ creates recurring problems in their social, and sexual relationships…

Lacking a clear purpose in life?

As the Corona lockdown eases globally and society goes back to normal, many ambitious men are faced with an important question...

What is the next step?

I spent the last 3 months of quarantine at my property in Portugal, together with some of my fellow TNL coaches and brothers, trying to answer this question.

You see, most guys think the answer is to keep scoring bigger and bigger goals, hoping that one day finally all the effort they put in will make them feel worthy and fulfilled - as if there is a final external goal that when reached, you will feel satisfied and finally at ease with yourself.

If that’s your metric for happiness, you’re likely in for disappointments.

That’s why we see so many celebrities and high-status men becoming addicted to substances and toxic lifestyles when goal chasing trumps enriching immersion - To escape the sense of emptiness that haunts them.

But what is causing this lack?

Living in a luxury cage

Realize that most of us live very privileged lives, especially in terms of human history. We have access to unlimited amounts of food and safe shelter, we spend most of our day in climate-controlled offices sitting in comfy chairs.

This is a very comfortable and safe bubble to live in…

Except that it doesn’t make us truly satisfied, because no matter how good of a life we are living, we still feel the primal call of the wild. We are animals after all.

In each of us, there is a yearning to escape the modern world with everything that entails, even if just for a short time. A deep calling exists to honor our instincts and masculine nature, to journey, to explore, to fight, dance, sing, and fuck.

By ignoring these instincts we don’t allow our subjective senses of entitlement and confidence to develop in the first place, in some senses we are still scared children.

This creates chronic problems in our social, sexual, and internal worlds - whether that manifests as having a hard time making a woman sexually attracted to us or struggling to connect with highly successful guys.

If you want to learn about this process in-depth and discover a method to reclaim your lost masculine power––the most important catalyst for social & sexual success, check this video.

Reclaim your stolen masculine power

For many years, you knew me as James Marshall, the seduction teacher, but experience taught me that, with most of my students, there is a more important deep individual work to be done that must develop in tandem with learning to seduce.

That’s why the first workshop I decided to focus on and teach now that the world opens again is the 8-day Natural Warrior Training happening in September 2020 at Natropia, my private retreat center in Portugal.

I’ve gathered together a team of world-class coaches and specialists in different schools of life enhancement, from movement to ancient sacred medicines and spirituality, to initiate men and reconnect them with the dormant warrior inside of them.

Keep in mind, the Natural Warrior Training is definitely NOT for everyone. You don’t need to be an athlete or experienced in meditation but you do need an attitude of holistic learning.

You must be willing to leave your job, your status, your pride at the gates to Natropia, and embrace your vulnerability, power, and presence.

This is an 8-day intensive journey of deep self-exploration that will completely turn your inner and outer worlds upside down, revealing the root causes of any social, romantic, and purpose issues that you might have, while rapidly enabling you to recreate the way you experience life.

If you think you have what it takes to join NWT, don’t waste further time… The initiation starts in September and more than half of the available spots have already been taken.

Click here to learn more about the Natural Warrior Training

Peace,

James

What Is Love?

How To Tell If You’re In Love

Curing Desperation

Seeing The Forest For The Trees

The Big Picture