How To Tell If You’re In Love
Ah, the age old question that philosophers, poets, novelists and artists of all kinds have been trying to answer for eons. Struggling to pin down what this odd combination of emotions, thoughts and sensations is, WHERE it is, and how it always seems to make us do crazy, stupid things.
If you’re a guy who has spent most of his life single and alone, its particularly important for you to pay attention to the feelings you develop for women.
Whether you’re using what you learn from our videos to finally ask that girl out you’ve been pining over for months, or you have started approaching women on the street, you’re at a high risk to confuse love with intense feelings for a girl.
A common tale we hear from guys after a workshop goes something like this:
"I spent my whole life wondering when I’d meet that next girl. This meant going months, often years without sex. And now, I’ve got the confidence and skills to meet as many women as I like. But there’s this one special girl I approached recently, and well, I’ve decided I want to settle down into a relationship with her. In fact, I think I love her."
Tell me, can you see the problem here?
A guy has gone from being completely lonely and desperate, to suddenly finding a girl who will sleep with him, and coincidentally she just HAPPENS to be the girl he’s fallen in love with.
Is this a fairy tale ending? Or a guy shooting himself in the foot?
Seeing The Forest For The Trees
What’s really going on here is that a guy is still operating under the same mindsets and programming he was before. There are many things we can do on a workshop for our clients, but one of the things we cannot do is make decisions for them after the workshop.
When it comes time to getting back home and meeting women in their day to day life, men are ultimately left to their own devices. And if they haven’t really understood the true extent of the abundance that is now waiting for them in the wide world of women, they’re going to settle for the first girl they meet.
What they think of as ‘love’ is really just a bundle of emotions that comes along with finally being accepted and seen by someone. Finally having a woman like them enough to sleep with them.
The simplest way to recognise what’s really going on is to look at the type of connection you have with a girl.
Is it just a physical/sexual connection? If she stopped sleeping with you, would you still want to hang out with her?
Or maybe it’s an intellectual mental connection? If the sex stopped, maybe you’d love being friends because you could still have enjoyable conversations?
Maybe there is a deeper emotional connection, but you need to really think about why you feel that connection. Is there going to be more to this than just the initial infatuation that lasts for the first weeks or months?
Do you share the same values? Do you enjoy the simple things, like doing laundry together or cooking meals?
Like any guy these are questions I had to answer on my own journey, which you can read more about in my book, A Natural History. There are times when I met women who I truly felt something for, yet had to make a critical decision as to whether I wanted to pursue something further with her, or keep my eye on my bigger vision.
The Big Picture
At the end of the day, eventually you will meet a woman who you do love and want to develop a deeper relationship with. However, this does not mean that you’ll fall in love with every woman that you meet, or that because a woman has sex with you it means you should love her.
Keep your eye on the big picture. Most of the time guys get into relationships thinking its the best thing for them at the time, only to wake up 2 years later and realise they’ve wasted an enormous amount of time. Don’t let that be you. Stay focused on why you’re doing this, why it’s important for you to get better with women, and what the end goal looks like.