Today I want to help you with a problem many men are experiencing as we slowly approach the end of the Corona lockdown...
“What should I do if I meet a girl (online or in real life) I feel natural chemistry and attraction towards, but she lives far away in a different city/part of the world?
Is it a good idea to fly over and spend some time together? ”
To really answer this question(and many other relationship-related ones) in-depth, you need to adopt three different perspectives: the dating perspective, the lifestyle design perspective, and the inner game perspective. That's the topic of my latest #AskTheNaturals video, hit the link to check it out.
So, let’s start from the beginning...
Does it make sense in terms of seduction success to fly over and meet a girl you’ve been only texting with most of the time?
If you’re young and have the money and time I’d say yes. No matter the result it makes for a cool adventure and good memory. But before you go for it, I have a couple of recommendations to avoid disappointments…
Set the right expectations
Do not assume stuff about her, but get a genuine feel for her character and personality. For example, if you meet a girl and she “seems” like a very sexual and open-minded female, find a way to validate this idea.
Get her on a phone call and start narrating a little roleplay fantasy to her or have a hot video chat to see how she reacts––use savvy and good calibration skills when doing this. Smart timing makes the difference between a thirsty dude and a potential lover 😉
That’s why I’d generally suggest you visit her and not vice-versa. At least, if you end up not liking each other you’re not stuck together at your place for days, so...
Have some other reasons to visit her city
A short seminar, a business meeting, time to focus on a passion. This way you’ll remove lots of pressure from her and make the whole experience more casual and light-hearted.
Now, if you still perceive it as a big deal and place a lot of importance on the outcome of your visit, you might have a lifestyle design issue.
Let me explain,
If one woman has the power to make you obsessed about getting her at all costs, your problem is not dating-related but lifestyle-related. In short: Your setup needs work.
You need to start thinking about how to surround yourself with enough female energy, potential partners and interesting people to let go of this scarce mindset as a result.
Remember, ultimately being around women––not just lovers, but especially friends, acquaintances, and co-workers–– is what makes you good with women.
The absence of this might lead to a recurring negative relationship pattern...
Always falling for and obsessing over girls that are very hard to love
These girls are the ones that live far away from you and the ones that are too busy to date or commit to someone seriously.
This is a complex topic. But falling into the same pattern again and again might be a by-product of a lack of self-worth and confidence in your abilities to attract and love others and be loved by them.
An impossible situation is much easier to rationalize than suffering from a traditional, and possible relationship. But that’s a big part of your journey and a paradox you really need to come to terms with.
If you have been struggling with all this for a while and want to improve your romantic situation and lifestyle once and for all, I suggest you seek the mentorship of those who have been in your shoes and successfully reversed the odds - the TNL crew. Join us on one of our upcoming live workshops.
Until then, all the best.