3rd August 2018
James Marshall

Approach Anxiety Made Simple

Does your positivity and confidence stays with you once you see the girl you want to talk to?

Seeing The Cycle

What do you do to get into a positive state to approach? Do you motivate yourself by thinking things like “I can do this” or “I want to feel good?”.

Even though you have good intentions, I’m sure that this positivity doesn’t stick around once you see the girl you want to talk to.

You probably start getting thoughts like “she’s not going to like me” or “i don’t know what to say”. Then your throats start to tighten, your chest contracts and you label this reaction by saying “I’m anxious”.

The cycle goes around and around as you continue to see women you want to approach, feel the contraction and eventually give up, feeling like you’re trapped in this cycle of ‘approach anxiety’.

If that sounds like you, I’ve got a simple inner game hack that can help you overcome approach anxiety and start feeling good about approaching women.

Opposites

So how do you stop feeling anxious? You simply find how you run the patterns of contraction and reverse them by doing the opposite. As soon as you feel that contraction, ask yourself:

“What would it be like to experience the opposite?

“What would it be like if i could start to feel like I do when I’m happy, or relaxed, or really calm?”.

Start moving the energy around your body in a way that opens your throat, your heart, cycling it back through the source over and over. It can help to visualize a colour during this process, associating it with the positivity you’re creating.

I guarantee you, if you do that for a few minutes, you’re going to start to feel fantastic, and it’s going to start to reprogram your brain, your emotions, so that you don’t feel those negative contractions of anxiety and fear anymore, and instead start to feel energy, excitement, spontaneity and possibility, or at the very least just neutrality and relaxation.

Deepening The Practice

One of the essentials of being able to tune into your body and energy is knowing how to meditate.

In today’s world we’re taught to pay the most attention to our thoughts. What we think becomes who we are and in essence, the true way to experience the world.

But this tunnel vision blocks out all of the incredible things happening in your body and heart that you can access to dramatically shift your day to day experience of the world.

If meditation is something you’ve never tried before or a point of frustration, you need to get your hands on the Marshall Meditation Method. Instead of having to mess about with clunky apps or endure weird quasi-religious chanting, we’ve broken the process down into a simple and easily approachable man’s man guide to meditation. If you’d like to learn more be sure to click here.

Approach anxiety can absolutely cripple you, but only if you let it. Remember that you’re in the driver’s seat, and so the way that you perceive your anxiety and how you choose to deal with it are in your hands.

Why Women Are AFRAID Of Being Approached

21st August 2018
James Marshall

Why Women Are AFRAID Of Being Approached

The Nightmare You’re Not Seeing

When you’re first starting out at seduction it’s easy to be so focused on your own fears and

anxieties around meeting women that you forget about how a woman is experiencing YOU.

It’s common for guys to consciously or subconsciously put women on a pedestal, which leads them to think that hot women are flawless, unstoppable and insanely confident to the point that a mere mortal such as yourself would never be cause for concern.

Yet the thing that costs most beginners dates and sex is oftentimes their inability to recognize and acknowledge how a woman is feeling. It’s rather a predicament for her. At first glance, you would think that women would be open to expressing their doubts or fears.

Let’s say you’re asking a woman for her number.

It seems simple enough, you’ve been chatting for 4-5 minutes and seem to get along, so why not ask her on a date?

Yet in her mind she’s recalling all of those times she’s given her number out to guys she’s just met and regretted it soon after. Every woman has had to deal with some guy she gave her number to who wouldn’t stop texting and calling her, and had to block his number, or in the days before smartphones, change HER number (a major headache).

So that’s what’s running through her head, but it’s normal to be afraid of even admitting that.

She doesn’t want to appear stupid or naive.

She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

And most important of all, she doesn’t want to say somewhat that might trigger you and lead to a violent outburst with her as the victim, a realistic concern for a lot of women.

Women Get Approached All The Time

Even when you’re initially approaching her, you need to understand that this likely isn’t the first time she has been approached.

It could have been a guy who was asking for the time, or directions to Starbucks. Seems innocent enough…until he creepily asks for her number out of nowhere.

Maybe it was a homeless guy asking her for money, who then EXPLODED when she ignored him or said no.

Not to mention crazy people roaming around on the street, who are frightening simply because they don’t recognize that they’re crazy and the effect they’re having on other people.

This is why getting coaching is so important. Overcoming your approach anxiety and being able to approach women are just the first steps.

You then need to learn how to develop the internal and external awareness that enable you to pick up on the subtle cues and hints women are giving you, so you can then adapt and adjust.

On workshops we teach guys how to do this, teaching them meditation to raise their awareness, alongside listening in to approaches using live microphones then breaking them down afterwards to help them understand what was REALLY going on between the lines.

And if that’s not an option for you, at the very least you should invest in our online course, The Marshall Meditation Method which I’ve specifically designed around approaching women. You’ll not only learn an important life skill but also have the tools to drop the stories and fears you keep telling yourself and instead focus on her experience of being approached by a strange man, aka you. If you want to learn more about meditation and how my method works be sure to check out this link.

The Art Of Seduction

If you’re still under the impression that pick-up lines and routines work, or that somewhere out there is a magic system that’s going to give you a 100% success rate (“all for a low price of $49.99!”), understand that each and every moment with a woman will be different.

Copying down lines or responses you hear in my in-field videos isn’t going to work, because I’m responding to not only what she’s saying in that moment, but her body language, her tone of voice, and the subtext of our conversation thus far.

As an example, two women might hesitate to give me their number, yet one of them has been living in that city her whole life, whilst another is only going to be there for another 2-3 days. The first may be concerned about getting harassed endlessly by a strange hairy man, whilst the other might not be able to justify giving me her number if she’s leaving town soon.

Ultimately this is why seduction is an art form rather than a series of tools you can pull out at any time the moment calls for it.

Creating Your Personal Elevator Pitch

21st August 2018
alex

Creating Your Personal Elevator Pitch

When you’re meeting women, they seldom care about your job, where you’re from, what you studied. That’s not to say that these things aren’t important, but on face value they really don’t mean anything.

The Everyday Conversation Nobody Wants To Have

Conversations can be tough, that’s for sure. I’m going to run a little script by you, and tell me if it sounds familiar:

So…tell me…what do you…uh…what do you do for work?

Oh…

Cool.

Ok.

And uh…

Where are you from?

Really?

Right. That’s cool. I’ve been there.

And umm…

…yeah…

What did you study?

Ah, got it. Yep

……and for how long?

Years, gotcha.

This is the typical conversation I hear most guys having with women when they first join us on a workshop. But an even deadlier sin than this is failing to talk about themselves at all. THEN they ask a woman for her number, and I can only imagine what’s running through her head:

“Ummm….who the hell are you?”

Expressing Yourself

I get that it can be really hard to talk about yourself.

When you think back over the course of your life, you’ve been trained to ask these questions and to value this information by everyone you’ve interacted with along the way. It’s rare that people actually stop and ask “do I really care about what someone does for a living? And does that actually tell me much about them as a person?”.

The actual meaning comes from the why. Ok, so you’re an engineer, but why? Did you follow that career path because you thought it would make your parents happy? Because you thought the money would be good? Or you just like trigonometry?

A common trap guys can fall into when they start approaching is thinking that by the simple fact that they are approaching a woman, they’re communicating everything she needs to know about who he is as a man. That he’s confident. That he knows what he wants. That he’s a risk taker. All attractive qualities, and sure, impressive in the moment, but not enough to get most women on a date with you.

Even if you’re still hopeless at approaching (in which case you should sign up for our 3-week beginner’s course, the Dating Accelerator you’re still going to come across a woman at some point and need to find a way to introduce who you are as a person.

The problem is that you still need to make a first impression, and if you don’t know how to do that, you’re going to automatically fall back on your bad habits, which likely include asking too many generic questions, not engaging the answers with curiosity, and failing to talk about yourself.

So what’s the remedy?

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

The good news is that this is something you can practice. Remember that you don’t have to have an impressive resume to talk about yourself. You don’t need to have a high paying job or a fascinating lifestyle of travel and adventure to spark curiosity.

Here’s three things you should keep in mind that you can slip into the conversation.

Something you’re really good at. This isn’t about impressing her, but taking pride in yourself. Maybe you’ve worked really hard at martial arts over the years, or you love programming, or you can balance an orange on your head.
Something you like. Again, it’s not about trying to ‘game’ her by figuring out what she WANTS to hear, but what you genuinely like. Collecting goldfish. Experimental 90’s punk/folk music. Stargazing.
Something you suck at. Don’t play out the cliche job interview answer of reversing this by saying “my biggest flaw is caring too much about people”. No no no. Be honest. This is about showing you’re human. I’m terrible at getting up when my alarm goes off. I can’t cook to save myself. My apartment is a mess most of the time.

Write these down somewhere. You don’t need to treat them as a ‘line’ that has to be inserted into EVERY interaction with a woman, but they are there in those moments when you need to share something about yourself with her.

Speaking of practice, you’re going to need a lot of it if you’re going to get really good at seduction. But as I’ve always said, the adage that ‘practice makes perfect’ is slightly wrong. It should be ‘perfect practice makes perfect’, which means, knowing how to practice is just as important as practicing.

If you’re really keen on learning what that looks like, I’ve put together a course that describes exactly what you should be doing as a beginner to make sure you are actually improving at seduction and not just running around in circles getting nowhere. You can learn all about the Dating Accelerator, including a course breakdown that describes exactly what you’ll be learning, by clicking here.

How To Set Goals (That You Can Actually Achieve)

21st August 2018
alex

How To Set Goals (That You Can Actually Achieve)

The art of reading signals, why it’s ok to fuck up and what’s an “Indicator of Interest” really?

The Harsh Truth About Goals

It’s Shae here, coming at you with some more inner game wizardry all about goal setting.

Why is it that most people fail to achieve their goals? Think about something like ‘new year’s resolutions’; people declaring they will finally join a gym and lose weight, or quit their job and pursue their dream.

You might even have specific goals about your dating life. Maybe you tired of constantly being reminded by family and friends that you’re still single. Or maybe you’re tired of hoping it will finally happen, only to be disappointed each night you go to sleep.

And when you think about how long this problem has been going on, I’m sure you’ve been wondering why things haven’t changed.

Why you’re still not able to approach women.

Why you’re still not seeing the results you want

Why you still feel so lonely.

As hard as it might be to shine a light on these thoughts and feelings, it’s important to at least acknowledge where you’re at. That’s the first step to the goal setting process.

Being Realistic

See, there is a classic goal-setting format of building a solid plan, then taking the steps to execute that plan and grinding your ass off until it’s completed, no matter what obstacles present themselves.

But let’s be honest, if you’ve already found out that approaching is a possibility, and you haven’t already started taking steps towards it, that methodology really isn’t going to work.

Think about someone who is out of shape. It’s a no-brainer that they have to go on a diet and exercise more, but they can’t actually execute the plan.

So sometimes the plan isn’t the problem, but it’s making it happen.

A paradigm I’ve adopted throughout my life, and one that the other coaches here at The Natural Lifestyles follow, is viewing myself as a creator.

This begins with acknowledging that there is an unseen part of you, whether you want to call it your unconscious, deeper self, or even just your heart, that is available for you to tap into.

By planting a solid intention about what you want, you’re opening yourself up to the possibility that it could happen.

Sometimes that possibility is just enough for things to start shifting and moving, although it can be really hard for the ego to understand this because it’s so attached to grinding and hard work.

Yet we have to ask ourselves, what intention should we set? What genetic code should we instil into that seed to ensure that it grows into something that will bear fruit?

You could set yourself the intention to have a really beautiful girlfriend, and for some guys that’s a legitimate goal.

But if you were to be honest with yourself, do you really feel ready for that? Do you feel like you’re the man you need to be, want to be, in order to have that woman?

How would you feel being with her knowing that you set yourself a goal to learn how to approach, to really gain the confidence to master it, yet never really pursued that until it became your reality?

What if your intention was instead to seek out the coaching you need to first become that man?

Making A Start, Even If It’s Small

If you’ve had a look at our workshops, I’m sure you’ve come up with one or two excuses why it’s just not going to happen for you.

Maybe it’s that you don’t have enough money. Maybe it’s that you can’t get the time off work. Or maybe you’re so wrapped up in your ego that you can’t admit to yourself that you need help.

Trust me, I know how hard it can be to let go of that pride.

But we know that most guys don’t even take the time to fill out an application. Most aren’t even willing to get on the phone with us and talk about their situation, and find a way to make it happen.

Keep in mind, you’re not signing up for some hardcore sales pitch, we actually just want to help in whatever way we can.

So if you’re setting yourself some goals for next year, maybe plant that seed. “What would it be like to do a workshop with the Natural Lifestyles? What resources, opportunities, connections do I need to come my way in order to make that a reality?”

Maybe you need to take a smaller step in order to convince yourself that it’s worthwhile. A lot of our clients have started with our beginners online course, The Dating Accelerator before moving on to our live coaching.

Over the 3 weeks of online content you’ll be given a simple framework to help you get over your approach anxiety, start approaching, and hopefully getting some numbers which will then lead to dates.

Will it mean you achieve your goal of having threesomes with playboy bunnies this time next month?

Probably not.

But it’s a start. It’s a way of you acting on your intention.

You’ll be amazed at what setting yourself that intention can lead to, especially if you’re willing to get out of your own way. Be sure to check out the Dating Accelerator by clicking here.

Finding Motivation To Approach Women

21st August 2018
alex

Finding Motivation To Approach Women

When guys start out approaching they often have a really short term goal in mind. What’s the long vision? Is having beautiful women in your life enough?

Let’s Start Simple...

It’s Shae here with some news that might be a little scary to read.

Are you ready?

You might want to sit down for this.

I’ve done some digging and discovered that you’re going to die someday. I am too. So are the rest of the coaches, and everyone you know...family, friends, colleagues, mortal enemies.

All going to die someday.

Now I wouldn’t be giving you this grim news if it weren’t for some purpose, and that is a poignant reminder that life is short.

If you’ve known about pick-up, approaching, seduction, whatever you want to call it, for longer than 6 months, and still haven’t taken action by approaching or getting coaching, that’s six months wasted.

It might not seem like a big deal, but you’re never going to get that time back. And if you don’t start by taking action today, say by filling in an application form and getting on the phone with us about a workshop, you’re effectively stating that you’re ok with paralysis.

This is a dangerous place to be in because the one thing you can be sure of is that you are going to die someday, but you don’t know when. It could be tomorrow, or in a year from now. Would you want to look back on the last year of your life and acknowledge that you had lived in fear the whole time?

Using Frustration To Your Advantage

When guys start out approaching they often have a really short term goal in mind. This isn’t intentional, it's more than they’re moving away from a place of pain.

It could be something like getting more sex, because they’re been inactively single for so long.

Or it could just be getting over their approach anxiety because they’re sick of feeling trapped and worrying about what other people think.

That initial feeling of frustration slowly builds over time to a point of bursting where they eventually feel like they’d rather die than put up with the problem for another moment longer.

These are great goals to work towards, but what you’ll eventually find is that if you take action, you’ll move past them.

It’s not that big of a leap for you to reach a stage where you feel comfortable approaching women, and those who have trouble with it typically start out with our beginner’s online course, the Dating Accelerator. Putting things in perspective it’s really a waste of your life to spend so much time at a stage that can be overcome by making a small investment and learning from guys who have not only been through the ‘beginner’s hell’ you’re experiencing, but have also developed strategies to fast track the process and taught them to hundreds of other men. If you want to get your hands on these insights you can find out more about the course and what’s included by clicking here.

Why You REALLY Want To Approach

But eventually, you’ll need to have some kind of grander purpose that you’re moving towards.

Sure, beautiful women are great, but if you had a bunch of beautiful women in your life, then what? Why would that be important to you?

Because once you’ve started moving away from that initial pain point, that ‘rock bottom’ which drove you to start making a change, you’ll then have to find something to move towards.

The good news is that there isn’t any right or wrong answer to this. It’s incredibly personal.

For myself I know that being with a beautiful woman can be like holding up a mirror, revealing all of my flaws, inadequacies and insecurities. Beyond the sex and initial appeal of a beautiful woman lies an opportunity for me to grow as a person, whilst also offering her the same in kind.

So what’s your deeper motivation for approaching?

Maybe it's love. Maybe you are overcome with a passion for women that makes you feel alive. Maybe you envision having a family one day.

Be sure to check out today’s video, and leave a comment letting us know what the big picture vision is for you.

Do You Know How To Read A Woman’s Signals?

21st August 2018
alex

Do You Know How To Read A Woman’s Signals?

The art of reading signals, why it’s ok to fuck up and what’s an “Indicator of Interest” really?

Understanding ‘Indicators of Interest’

Have you ever noticed a girl checking you out?

Maybe she makes eye contact from across the room, then averts her gaze when she sees you looking back.

Or she starts innocently twirling her hair as you’re talking to her, planting a hand on your arm and laughing WAY too hard at a joke that wasn’t that funny.

And you think “man, this girl is SO into me”.

In the old school pick-up lingo these are called ‘indicators of interest’.

But now, something that begun as a loose terminology for a set of behaviours which may or may not be signs that a woman is interested have have been blown WAY out of proportion.

Are indicators of interest real? Do women really give signals? And if so, how do you read them to know that you have a shot with her?

I often say that ‘perfect practice makes perfect’, which trumps the old adage that ‘practice makes perfect’. As an example, if you’re learning guitar and decide to play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ for an hour each day for 10 years, you’ll probably be really good at playing that one song but not be good at anything else.

The more effective way to learn is to practice scales, develop correct finger placement and improve your picking technique, because in order to get good at something you need to know how to practice it in a way that will develop the fundamentals.

Yet still, this can be misunderstood. Anyone with a perfectionist mindset (yes, I’m talking to you!) will obsessively seek out the perfect way of doing things before ever actually getting in any practice.

The Extraordinary Art Of Fucking Up

What comes before perfect practice is imperfect practice, which in layman's terms means fucking up.

A lot.

Even if a woman is giving you signals, it really doesn’t mean anything unless you take action. She could be ready to go back to your place after a mere 5 minutes of small talk, but unless you actually approach her and then pull the trigger it’s never going to happen.

How do you know the right time to do these things? Like I said, by making mistakes. When I was first starting out I knew what it was I had to do, whether it was escalating or inviting her upstairs, but what I didn’t have down were the more nuanced details like timing, logistics, and understanding her mindsets.

After experiencing this period of ‘beginner’s hell’ myself, then learning I wasn’t the only one to have such a hard time starting out, I decided to do something about it. To save you the pain of having to learn seduction the hard way, without any insight or clues on what to do as a beginner, I’ve put together a 3 week course called the Dating Accelerator. You’ll be learning from me and other coaches here at the Natural Lifestyles everything we wished we had known starting out, from tackling approach anxiety to making sure you don’t run out of things to say. Learn more about the course and what’s included by clicking here.

So sure, it can be nice to get attention from women here and there, but I’d say it’s not worth waiting for her to give a signal before taking a risk.

The better alternative is to just assume that she is interested in you. This mindset means that you’re always making a forward action, and awaiting her response. Unless she’s making it clear that it’s not going anywhere by saying she’s not interested, it’s perfectly ok to believe everything is going well.

(...and by the way, this means respecting her boundaries. If she clearly says no, it means no. Period.)

The alternative is to have a negative mindset, and fueling any kind of anxiety or worry or doubt is only going to make you miss out on opportunities.

Lastly, keep in mind that some women can fire off more signals than any man could keep up with yet only be interested in flirting and ‘living life’, whilst other women will never express a single notion of interest yet gladly go home with you as long as you ask.

So stop waiting around for the ‘perfect’ opportunity and start taking risks. Dare to fail. It will pay off in the long run, I promise.

Approach Anxiety Made Simple

Seeing The Cycle

Opposites

Deepening The Practice