Understanding ‘Indicators of Interest’
Have you ever noticed a girl checking you out?
Maybe she makes eye contact from across the room, then averts her gaze when she sees you looking back.
Or she starts innocently twirling her hair as you’re talking to her, planting a hand on your arm and laughing WAY too hard at a joke that wasn’t that funny.
And you think “man, this girl is SO into me”.
In the old school pick-up lingo these are called ‘indicators of interest’.
But now, something that begun as a loose terminology for a set of behaviours which may or may not be signs that a woman is interested have have been blown WAY out of proportion.
Are indicators of interest real? Do women really give signals? And if so, how do you read them to know that you have a shot with her?
I often say that ‘perfect practice makes perfect’, which trumps the old adage that ‘practice makes perfect’. As an example, if you’re learning guitar and decide to play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ for an hour each day for 10 years, you’ll probably be really good at playing that one song but not be good at anything else.
The more effective way to learn is to practice scales, develop correct finger placement and improve your picking technique, because in order to get good at something you need to know how to practice it in a way that will develop the fundamentals.
Yet still, this can be misunderstood. Anyone with a perfectionist mindset (yes, I’m talking to you!) will obsessively seek out the perfect way of doing things before ever actually getting in any practice.
The Extraordinary Art Of Fucking Up
What comes before perfect practice is imperfect practice, which in layman's terms means fucking up.
Even if a woman is giving you signals, it really doesn’t mean anything unless you take action. She could be ready to go back to your place after a mere 5 minutes of small talk, but unless you actually approach her and then pull the trigger it’s never going to happen.
How do you know the right time to do these things? Like I said, by making mistakes. When I was first starting out I knew what it was I had to do, whether it was escalating or inviting her upstairs, but what I didn’t have down were the more nuanced details like timing, logistics, and understanding her mindsets.
After experiencing this period of ‘beginner’s hell’ myself, then learning I wasn’t the only one to have such a hard time starting out, I decided to do something about it. To save you the pain of having to learn seduction the hard way, without any insight or clues on what to do as a beginner, I’ve put together a 3 week course called the Dating Accelerator. You’ll be learning from me and other coaches here at the Natural Lifestyles everything we wished we had known starting out, from tackling approach anxiety to making sure you don’t run out of things to say. Learn more about the course and what’s included by clicking here.
So sure, it can be nice to get attention from women here and there, but I’d say it’s not worth waiting for her to give a signal before taking a risk.
The better alternative is to just assume that she is interested in you. This mindset means that you’re always making a forward action, and awaiting her response. Unless she’s making it clear that it’s not going anywhere by saying she’s not interested, it’s perfectly ok to believe everything is going well.
(...and by the way, this means respecting her boundaries. If she clearly says no, it means no. Period.)
The alternative is to have a negative mindset, and fueling any kind of anxiety or worry or doubt is only going to make you miss out on opportunities.
Lastly, keep in mind that some women can fire off more signals than any man could keep up with yet only be interested in flirting and ‘living life’, whilst other women will never express a single notion of interest yet gladly go home with you as long as you ask.
So stop waiting around for the ‘perfect’ opportunity and start taking risks. Dare to fail. It will pay off in the long run, I promise.