Attractive women are so used to annoying catcalling from drunk dudes and weird people that they often ignore everyone when they’re out.
So they often find most of their dating prospects through their social circle and workplace––it gets boring real fast.
But one day they finally meet a charming, socially savvy guy who is so interested in her that has to stop whatever he’s doing and walk up to her in the street.
This is something rare, and many single girls are likely to be intrigued by such a good opportunity.
Still, lots of guys never get to experience the real fun and adventure as they self-sabotage themselves by making poor choices.
Either they get too needy and try to make a move too soon, creeping her out and killing the attraction.
Or they decide to postpone everything, take the number and schedule a date in the future even if she’s clearly free and open to getting to know them at that moment.
If this is you, it’s important you stop self-sabotaging your results right now!
Watch my latest video to learn the three most important things you should do to take a girl home right after the approach. Click the link below to watch it:
P.S. Want to quickly become the kind of charming stranger that can consistently meet and take girls home from all sorts of places?
Many of our students have successfully approached and gotten sexy dates from Starbucks, shopping malls, libraries, bars, universities, and even supermarkets, and you can become one of them 😉
Our coaching curriculum teaches you how to calibrate and adjust your approach based on the situation at hand so that you can always start a conversation and move things forward smoothly and without resistance or tension from her side.
Currently, we still have 2 spots left for our next training program running in Kyiv, Ukraine from July 22nd-July 25th, 2021. To learn more about how everything works, click HERE.
P.P.S.Want to get daily insights into the kind of seductive lifestyle you can build once you master the most powerful nuances of dating? Just follow me on my personal Instagram.
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Rather than thinking “oh, she said no when I went for the number because she doesn’t want to go on a date with me”, ask yourself: What other reasons could she have for saying no?
and what to do about it!
If you’ve ever asked a girl for her number and she say’s no, it can be one of the most soul crushing things ever. Nothing sucks more than having a smooth chat only to be thrown an abrupt curveball out of nowhere.
But why do women say no when you ask for their number?
Is it because they don’t like you?
Is it because they have a boyfriend they aren’t telling you about?
Or is it something much more complex, intricate and confusing that only the infamous dating coach and natural seducer James Marshall can deduce?
Let’s find out.
Cracking The Code
When it comes to seduction, there is rarely a situation that is a complete carbon copy of the other.
Even though pickup lines and routines are only practiced by guys in their 40’s who ‘just can’t let go of the old ways’, a lot of men still hold onto the idea that there is a one size fits all approach to certain situations.
That there is a perfect opener.
Or a perfect way to ask for her number.
Or the perfect first text to send afterwards.
Here at The Natural Lifestyles we always focus on taking a step back from this focus on situations and instead look at the meta of a situation.
So rather than thinking “oh, she said no when I went for the number because she doesn’t want to go on a date with me”, ask yourself: What other reasons could she have for saying no?
The Creepy Texter
A lot of women have a story about this one guy in their life. No, he wasn’t the charming romantic who swept her off her feet.
Instead, he was the guy who she innocently gave her number to because at the time she thought he was cute, or he made her laugh.
Emphasis on the innocent here. She wasn’t hearing wedding bells or picturing their family home, it was just done on a whim, a spur of the moment kind of thing.
Yet because most men are coming from a place of complete SCARCITY and have very limited options with women, getting a woman’s number = sex.
All they need to do is pester her enough times until she finally submits.
So they text her.
And then text her some more.
When she doesn’t respond, they call.
And then when there is no answer, you know what the
y do?
That’s right. They leave a voice message.
Then send a text.
You know.
Just in case the voicemail didn’t work.
So suddenly she’s gone from giving out her number to some guy she barely knows who is now constantly harassing her.
The last thing she wants to do is give him the impression that she’s interested, so she doesn’t respond.
But instead of him getting the hint, he just thinks she’s playing “hard to get” and so texts him even more.
Talk about a nightmare.
Calling It Out
Since I’ve been doing this for many, many years, I’ve heard countless stories like this from women about their experiences with men.
So when I hear “I don’t give my numbers to strangers”, I don’t interpret that as “I don’t want to date you”, but rather “I’ve done that before and deeply regretted it”.
In this instance a little reassurance goes a long way.
Just the fact that I mention this to her is a huge weight off her shoulders.
If you want to hear more about my origin story and how I eventually became the world’s leading dating coach, you can read all about it in A Natural History. It’s an autobiography chronicling my early days starting out as a seducer, not to mention all of the mistakes I made along the way.
Admittedly, I may have had a creepy texter phase too, but you’ll have to click here to find out more…
The Sixth Sense
What this really boils down to is developing a sixth sense, a seducers empathy if you will, when you’re interacting with women.
Know that they’ve had to deal with a whole range of bizarre behaviour from men which was totally unwelcome, and for some women that makes them incredibly hesitant when meeting new men.
Especially if you’re two strangers who have just met on the street like I was meeting this redhead in Prague.
So next time you’re having a morning after with a girl, maybe ask her about some of the experiences she’s had with men. Her answers will likely shock you…
A student recently asked me a question about approaching girls when they’re bunched together in groups. Not just 2 friends walking together, but a bigger group of say 4 or more people.
It’s natural to find the idea of approaching a group of women incredibly nerve wracking, because you’re taking all of the pressure of approaching one woman and multiplying it.
So what’s the best way to approach girls in groups?
An Important Skill
Sometimes you’ll see an amazing girl, but she’s surrounded by a group of friends. If you don’t practice this, then you’re always going to feel shortchanged when these opportunities come around.
More importantly, you need to know how to do this in other social situations as well. If you’re at a party and don’t know anyone, how many opportunities will you have to approach one person standing by themselves? It’s more likely that they’ll be clumped together.
And then there are networking events where it’s important to make a good impression. The next person you talk to might be your future boss, and if you fumble the introduction you could miss out on an excellent opportunity.
Whenever you're approaching a group, it’s best to be direct.
This means giving people a very clear intention of why you’re there.
When it comes to a group of women, if you lack clarity and intention when you approach, people can get very uncomfortable because you’ve suddenly upset the status quo.
A new person has joined the group, for reasons unknown, and as one person becomes uncomfortable, the others will feel it too. Very soon that awkwardness spreads like a virus, and they’ll become focused on driving out it’s source; YOU.
If you’re still not sure about how to approach in a direct manner, it’s something I cover in my introductory course, the ‘Dating Accelerator’. Many guys have no idea where or how to start when it comes to seduction and meeting new women, so I’ve designed a 3-week online video course that will teach you everything you need to know as a beginner.
Being direct can be confusing for some as it can seem like something creepy; giving women unwanted attention on the street. But the truth is that it’s far creepier to approach women with no intention at all, because they’ll be left wondering what you want and why you’re there. Click here to learn more about the course so you can start being direct in your interactions with women.
Finding Your Style
As you progress on your seduction journey, it’s important to at least try all of the different aspects of seduction; approaching groups, nightclub game, same-day lays and so on.
But it doesn’t mean you have to master everything. If that is really your goal, it’s likely that you’re focused more on your ego or persona as a ‘pua’ rather than having a pure intention of meeting and spending time with more women.
What really matters in the long run is finding what suits you. So ask yourself; Do you really like meeting girls in a group? Or would you rather meet them one on one? Does the idea of feeding off a group’s energy and being the centre of attention thrill you, or would you rather build an intimate connection with just you and her?
Sometimes when you’re ready to ask a girl out, it can feel like all of this pressure has been building up until this one single moment.
Part of you is expecting that it’s not going to go as planned. As though hearing her say “sure, here’s my number” seems almost too easy.
Why Getting A Number Isn’t Always Your Best Option
Sometimes when you’re ready to ask a girl out, it can feel like all of this pressure has been building up until this one single moment.
Part of you is expecting that it’s not going to go as planned. As though hearing her say “sure, here’s my number” seems almost too easy.
Knowing Where You Stand
If you’ve been out approaching women you’ve likely heard a lot of different responses from women when you ask them out.
Sometimes they might tell you they don’t give their number out to random strangers.
Other times they might sidestep altogether and simply offer to be Facebook friends.
But really, those two are your best options.
Anything beyond that is a depressing decline into the stark realization that this girl has absolutely no interest in seeing you again. I’m talking about her offer to let you follow her on Instagram. Or maybe snapchat.
Or the worst of the worst, swapping email addresses.
“Sure, I’ll take your email address! It’s not like my well thought out and articulate email is going to get lost in a tide of spam, sale announcements and other internet flotsam!”.
Why Numbers Aren’t Always Best
So if we boil it down to either Facebook or a phone number, which is best?
At first instinct you might say phone number, because it’s more personal, right? She could have over a thousand Facebook friends, but it’s unlikely she has 1,000+ phone contacts.
Then again, to make the assumption that her giving you her number means that she likes you more doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best way to go.
See, the variable here is always going to be her preference for how people contact her.
Perhaps she just hates giving out her number because she’s had bad experiences in the past.
Maybe she wants your Facebook because it’s easier to block you if things go south.
Or it’s possible that she doesn’t even have a phone number in the country she’s in because she’s traveling.
But what you can control is how you put your best foot forward.
Pimp My Profile
When you’re approaching women you seldom have 15 minutes to stand there and get to know each other. In this context, a number would seem more appropriate because something has been established.
However if you’ve only been talking for 3-4 minutes and then swap numbers, you’re relying on text and emoji’s to rekindle the spark that led her to giving you her number.
This can lead to a lot of flakes and disappointments, which is very common for beginners to deal with. In my online course, the Dating Accelerator, I teach practical ways for beginners to leave a lasting impact on the women that they meet so that they’re more likely to meet up with her again. You can find out more information by clicking here.
In comparison to swapping numbers, Facebook presents her with a rundown of what kind of guy you are, from your pictures to your updates to everything in between.
This is where swapping Facebook profiles shines. If you’ve taken the time to upload some decent photos, and give the overall impression that you lead an interesting life, you’ll spike some curiosity in her to at least take a chance on you.
That being said, don’t let that be another excuse to stop you from approaching women. You don’t need to invest months creating a better profile when that time could be spent approaching women.
Ultimately you need to be out there taking action. I wouldn’t worry about fine tuning your Facebook profile until you’re actually at the stage where you’re approaching and asking out a lot of women.
If you’ve been out approaching women you’ve likely heard a lot of different responses from women when you ask them out.
