Why Women Are AFRAID Of Being Approached

Why Women Are AFRAID Of Being Approached

The Nightmare You’re Not Seeing

When you’re first starting out at seduction it’s easy to be so focused on your own fears and

anxieties around meeting women that you forget about how a woman is experiencing YOU.

It’s common for guys to consciously or subconsciously put women on a pedestal, which leads them to think that hot women are flawless, unstoppable and insanely confident to the point that a mere mortal such as yourself would never be cause for concern.

Yet the thing that costs most beginners dates and sex is oftentimes their inability to recognize and acknowledge how a woman is feeling. It’s rather a predicament for her. At first glance, you would think that women would be open to expressing their doubts or fears.

Let’s say you’re asking a woman for her number.

It seems simple enough, you’ve been chatting for 4-5 minutes and seem to get along, so why not ask her on a date?

Yet in her mind she’s recalling all of those times she’s given her number out to guys she’s just met and regretted it soon after. Every woman has had to deal with some guy she gave her number to who wouldn’t stop texting and calling her, and had to block his number, or in the days before smartphones, change HER number (a major headache).

So that’s what’s running through her head, but it’s normal to be afraid of even admitting that.

She doesn’t want to appear stupid or naive.

She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

And most important of all, she doesn’t want to say somewhat that might trigger you and lead to a violent outburst with her as the victim, a realistic concern for a lot of women.

Women Get Approached All The Time

Even when you’re initially approaching her, you need to understand that this likely isn’t the first time she has been approached.

It could have been a guy who was asking for the time, or directions to Starbucks. Seems innocent enough…until he creepily asks for her number out of nowhere.

Maybe it was a homeless guy asking her for money, who then EXPLODED when she ignored him or said no.

Not to mention crazy people roaming around on the street, who are frightening simply because they don’t recognize that they’re crazy and the effect they’re having on other people.

This is why getting coaching is so important. Overcoming your approach anxiety and being able to approach women are just the first steps.

You then need to learn how to develop the internal and external awareness that enable you to pick up on the subtle cues and hints women are giving you, so you can then adapt and adjust.

On workshops we teach guys how to do this, teaching them meditation to raise their awareness, alongside listening in to approaches using live microphones then breaking them down afterwards to help them understand what was REALLY going on between the lines.

And if that’s not an option for you, at the very least you should invest in our online course, The Marshall Meditation Method which I’ve specifically designed around approaching women. You’ll not only learn an important life skill but also have the tools to drop the stories and fears you keep telling yourself and instead focus on her experience of being approached by a strange man, aka you. If you want to learn more about meditation and how my method works be sure to check out this link.

The Art Of Seduction

If you’re still under the impression that pick-up lines and routines work, or that somewhere out there is a magic system that’s going to give you a 100% success rate (“all for a low price of $49.99!”), understand that each and every moment with a woman will be different.

Copying down lines or responses you hear in my in-field videos isn’t going to work, because I’m responding to not only what she’s saying in that moment, but her body language, her tone of voice, and the subtext of our conversation thus far.

As an example, two women might hesitate to give me their number, yet one of them has been living in that city her whole life, whilst another is only going to be there for another 2-3 days. The first may be concerned about getting harassed endlessly by a strange hairy man, whilst the other might not be able to justify giving me her number if she’s leaving town soon.

Ultimately this is why seduction is an art form rather than a series of tools you can pull out at any time the moment calls for it.

Follow Us

Next Article

Creating Your Personal Elevator Pitch

Previous Article

Approach Anxiety Made Simple

Creating Your Personal Elevator Pitch

When you’re meeting women, they seldom care about your job, where you’re from, what you studied. That’s not to say that these things aren’t important, but on face value they really don’t mean anything.

The Everyday Conversation Nobody Wants To Have

Conversations can be tough, that’s for sure. I’m going to run a little script by you, and tell me if it sounds familiar:

So…tell me…what do you…uh…what do you do for work?

Oh…

Cool.

Ok.

And uh…

Where are you from?

Really?

Right. That’s cool. I’ve been there.

And umm…

…yeah…

What did you study?

Ah, got it. Yep

……and for how long?

Years, gotcha.

This is the typical conversation I hear most guys having with women when they first join us on a workshop. But an even deadlier sin than this is failing to talk about themselves at all. THEN they ask a woman for her number, and I can only imagine what’s running through her head:

“Ummm….who the hell are you?”

Expressing Yourself

I get that it can be really hard to talk about yourself.

When you think back over the course of your life, you’ve been trained to ask these questions and to value this information by everyone you’ve interacted with along the way. It’s rare that people actually stop and ask “do I really care about what someone does for a living? And does that actually tell me much about them as a person?”.

When you’re meeting women, they seldom care about your job, where you’re from, what you studied. That’s not to say that these things aren’t important, but on face value they really don’t mean anything.

The actual meaning comes from the why. Ok, so you’re an engineer, but why? Did you follow that career path because you thought it would make your parents happy? Because you thought the money would be good? Or you just like trigonometry?

A common trap guys can fall into when they start approaching is thinking that by the simple fact that they are approaching a woman, they’re communicating everything she needs to know about who he is as a man. That he’s confident. That he knows what he wants. That he’s a risk taker. All attractive qualities, and sure, impressive in the moment, but not enough to get most women on a date with you.

Even if you’re still hopeless at approaching (in which case you should sign up for our 3-week beginner’s course, the Dating Accelerator you’re still going to come across a woman at some point and need to find a way to introduce who you are as a person.

The problem is that you still need to make a first impression, and if you don’t know how to do that, you’re going to automatically fall back on your bad habits, which likely include asking too many generic questions, not engaging the answers with curiosity, and failing to talk about yourself.

So what’s the remedy?

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

The good news is that this is something you can practice. Remember that you don’t have to have an impressive resume to talk about yourself. You don’t need to have a high paying job or a fascinating lifestyle of travel and adventure to spark curiosity.

Here’s three things you should keep in mind that you can slip into the conversation.

  1. Something you’re really good at. This isn’t about impressing her, but taking pride in yourself. Maybe you’ve worked really hard at martial arts over the years, or you love programming, or you can balance an orange on your head.
  2. Something you like. Again, it’s not about trying to ‘game’ her by figuring out what she WANTS to hear, but what you genuinely like. Collecting goldfish. Experimental 90’s punk/folk music. Stargazing.
  3. Something you suck at. Don’t play out the cliche job interview answer of reversing this by saying “my biggest flaw is caring too much about people”. No no no. Be honest. This is about showing you’re human. I’m terrible at getting up when my alarm goes off. I can’t cook to save myself. My apartment is a mess most of the time.

Write these down somewhere. You don’t need to treat them as a ‘line’ that has to be inserted into EVERY interaction with a woman, but they are there in those moments when you need to share something about yourself with her.

Speaking of practice, you’re going to need a lot of it if you’re going to get really good at seduction. But as I’ve always said, the adage that ‘practice makes perfect’ is slightly wrong. It should be ‘perfect practice makes perfect’, which means, knowing how to practice is just as important as practicing.

If you’re really keen on learning what that looks like, I’ve put together a course that describes exactly what you should be doing as a beginner to make sure you are actually improving at seduction and not just running around in circles getting nowhere. You can learn all about the Dating Accelerator, including a course breakdown that describes exactly what you’ll be learning, by clicking here.

Follow Us

Next Article

How To Set Goals (That You Can Actually Achieve)

Previous Article

Why Women Are AFRAID Of Being Approached