When Is It Too Late To Approach A Girl?

Perfectionism

If you’ve been watching videos or reading about pick up for some time now, you’ve developed an idea in your head about the ‘perfect’ approach, something like:

Make eye contact. Be direct, don't ask for directions to the nearest Starbucks. Then you have to touch, although not creepily, hold tension, but not too much tension, don’t be anxious, but don’t try to NOT be anxious, and if you are anxious make sure that you’re counteracting that with less anxiety. Oh, and get the number.

See, most men in today’s world are working in roles that require this level of detail.

You need to know the in’s and out’s of a system, how something works, how to build something, or fix it.

Perfectionism is ideal in that context, because it eliminates costly errors.

We don’t want engineers building bridges who say “yeah, that will do, let's get lunch”, and then have it fall down 2 months later.

The ‘Approach Window’

Now in Zsombors case, he’s after the perfect ‘approach window’. That sweet spot where she looks at you, and you look at her, and then she smiles, and you smile, and it’s like it was meant to be.

You might be different though. Maybe you wait until nobody is around before you approach, so it’s less embarrassing.

Or you wait for her to take out her headphones…and keep waiting…then realise she’s got no reason to spontaneously take them out so you can talk to her.

Either way, you’re just not approaching at all because you have this MASSIVE list of all these boxes to check off in your head making it so overwhelming to take any action at all.

And that’s ok. A little forgiveness is needed here, because after all you’re learning something new. You’re transitioning from a framework, this perfectionism habit that you’ve relied on for decades into the new unexplored realm of ‘take action and see what happens’.

It's risky, it's scary, and it could all blow up in your face.

Or, something amazing could happen.