The Struggle of Emotion
There is a huge stigma against men speaking out about their emotions, displaying weakness or that they can’t cope with what’s happening to them. As men, we’re expected to be tough, be strong, and feel pressure to constantly prove ourselves. Truth is, you can’t instantly be the successful guy with the suit and rolex and hot blonde when you’re an 18 year old. Bottling up those other feelings generally turns guys to addictions like alcohol and drugs, violence against themselves or others, turning the feelings inwards into depression or in the worst cases, suicide.
Throughout my teens and early twenties I experienced some very intense phases of depression. In those moments it can really feel like there is no way out, that things aren’t going to get better, and my habit was to seek out reinforcement of that idea but surrounding myself with negative influences. Having experienced those periods in my life and worked through them has allowed me to see that it is entirely objective; the experience itself is real, but the physical, mental and emotional aspects can change and evolve in a positive way.
When you’re young and inexperienced with women, particularly coming from a place of scarcity, it’s very easy to get tunnel vision and think you’ve found ‘the one’. Losing that girl or getting rejected can be absolutely devastating. Yes, heartbreak is a fucking bitch. In reality there is no ’the one’. There are multiple people you will meet throughout your life who you will share a deep and intimate bond with. The reason you cling onto one woman is because of the scarcity mindset; thinking that if you don’t get this one girl, you’ve fucked your once chance up and it will never happen for you.
Spreading Your Wings
Instead of focusing on one woman, get out into life and explore. Try on different personalities, different behaviours, different hobbies and interests, different friend groups, and especially different women. This will help you to get closer to what your passion really is, finding out who you really are and want you really want.
If you are feeling suicidal:
- Talk to somebody about it, speak about it candidly. A family member or a professional (most countries have free hotlines you can call to talk to someone if you’re feeling suicidal).
- Wait one more day. And then wait one more day. And then one more day. Don’t look it as a long term thing, think about your survival on a day by day basis.
- Return back to the simple things in life that make you happy. Go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine and nature, interact with animals, eat some healthy, wholesome food.
- If you’re particularly hung up on one girl, go out and meet some new girls, for the specific purpose of having fun and having sex.
And if you’re in a position to go to the next level by really conquering these tormenting thoughts, my online course the Marshall Meditation Method is designed to teach you a simple yet profound meditation system designed to draw your focus away from negative thoughts and into the present moment. Make sure you check it out by clicking here.
For now, stay strong.
But don’t be Tough.
James
