and what to do about it!
If you’ve ever asked a girl for her number and she say’s no, it can be one of the most soul crushing things ever. Nothing sucks more than having a smooth chat only to be thrown an abrupt curveball out of nowhere.
But why do women say no when you ask for their number?
Is it because they don’t like you?
Is it because they have a boyfriend they aren’t telling you about?
Or is it something much more complex, intricate and confusing that only the infamous dating coach and natural seducer James Marshall can deduce?
Let’s find out.
Cracking The Code
When it comes to seduction, there is rarely a situation that is a complete carbon copy of the other.
Even though pickup lines and routines are only practiced by guys in their 40’s who ‘just can’t let go of the old ways’, a lot of men still hold onto the idea that there is a one size fits all approach to certain situations.
That there is a perfect opener.
Or a perfect way to ask for her number.
Or the perfect first text to send afterwards.
Here at The Natural Lifestyles we always focus on taking a step back from this focus on situations and instead look at the meta of a situation.
So rather than thinking “oh, she said no when I went for the number because she doesn’t want to go on a date with me”, ask yourself: What other reasons could she have for saying no?
The Creepy Texter
A lot of women have a story about this one guy in their life. No, he wasn’t the charming romantic who swept her off her feet.
Instead, he was the guy who she innocently gave her number to because at the time she thought he was cute, or he made her laugh.
Emphasis on the innocent here. She wasn’t hearing wedding bells or picturing their family home, it was just done on a whim, a spur of the moment kind of thing.
Yet because most men are coming from a place of complete SCARCITY and have very limited options with women, getting a woman’s number = sex.
All they need to do is pester her enough times until she finally submits.
So they text her.
And then text her some more.
When she doesn’t respond, they call.
And then when there is no answer, you know what the
That’s right. They leave a voice message.
Then send a text.
Just in case the voicemail didn’t work.
So suddenly she’s gone from giving out her number to some guy she barely knows who is now constantly harassing her.
The last thing she wants to do is give him the impression that she’s interested, so she doesn’t respond.
But instead of him getting the hint, he just thinks she’s playing “hard to get” and so texts him even more.
Talk about a nightmare.
Calling It Out
Since I’ve been doing this for many, many years, I’ve heard countless stories like this from women about their experiences with men.
So when I hear “I don’t give my numbers to strangers”, I don’t interpret that as “I don’t want to date you”, but rather “I’ve done that before and deeply regretted it”.
In this instance a little reassurance goes a long way.
Just the fact that I mention this to her is a huge weight off her shoulders.
If you want to hear more about my origin story and how I eventually became the world’s leading dating coach, you can read all about it in A Natural History. It’s an autobiography chronicling my early days starting out as a seducer, not to mention all of the mistakes I made along the way.
Admittedly, I may have had a creepy texter phase too, but you’ll have to click here to find out more…
The Sixth Sense
What this really boils down to is developing a sixth sense, a seducers empathy if you will, when you’re interacting with women.
Know that they’ve had to deal with a whole range of bizarre behaviour from men which was totally unwelcome, and for some women that makes them incredibly hesitant when meeting new men.
Especially if you’re two strangers who have just met on the street like I was meeting this redhead in Prague.
So next time you’re having a morning after with a girl, maybe ask her about some of the experiences she’s had with men. Her answers will likely shock you…