James Marshall explains why it’s hard to be yourself around beautiful women.
Have you ever noticed that you’re not yourself all of the time?
That sounds like a very esoteric question, so let me put it this way.
Why is it that when you’re hanging around friends that you’ve known for years, or talking to your mom, it’s really easy to be yourself.
There isn’t any social pressure, you don’t feel like you have to think of something to say next. It’s just...normal.
But when you’re talking to some intimidating, like a beautiful woman, things can really change.
Most guys think that in order to be yourself you need to be cool, relaxed and at your best. If you’re someone who is very analytical and logical, say an engineer or software programmer, there is often a lot of pressure to get things perfect.
And for good reason! I’m certainly grateful that we have guys such as yourself double and triple checking the math so that skyscrapers and planes are falling down around me.
But when it comes to meeting beautiful women, trying to get everything perfect doesn’t really serve you.
For one, it means that you’re constantly going to be thinking about what to say and do, instead of just focusing on her.
And secondly, social interactions are rarely ever perfect, especially seduction. In all of my years I’ve pulled off one, maybe two seductions where everything went 100% perfectly.
Most of the time things go wrong. So how is it that you can bridge the gap between not being yourself under social pressure, to feeling comfortable no matter who you’re talking to?
This Is Why You're Constantly Stressed - How To Chill Out
Experience Your Reality Like Never Before | Guided Meditation With James Marshall
Getting Out Of Your Head
The answer, is simple. Meditation. The journey may not be entirely simple, but the answer at least for now, is simple.
See, when something goes wrong in a seduction, it’s the perfect opportunity for your mind to pitch in and start causing problems.
Analyzing how that one thing you did wrong is going to ruin everything.
Pointing out the obvious mistake that you could have seen coming a mile away.
Convincing you it’s time to just give up to avoid further embarrassment.
So is the problem really external, or is it internal? Is it that you made a mistake, or how you process the mistake?
Sometimes it’s both. But the process of correcting that begins with meditation.
In the Marshall Meditation Method online course, I teach guys a practical way to meditate that is applicable to situations where you’re under high pressure.
Remember how I said the answer is easy, but the journey isn’t? I’ve done everything I can to distill over 10 years of meditation practice and study into an online course that takes you through meditation step by step, leading you up to the point where you can draw on the practice of mindfulness when you’re feeling social pressure. You can learn more by clicking HERE.
Getting The Job Done
With the right tools anything is possible, hence the course filled with everything you need to know. But your responsibility is to actually use those tools.
This means first being aware of how social pressure shows up in the moment.
Does your mouth get dry? Does your chest get tight? Does it feel like there’s a fuzzy sensation in your belly?
Next, identify the sensation. Rather than judging it, by saying “oh I’m nervous again”, just acknowledge that it’s there.
Finally, watch it pass away. Few sensations and feelings in life are consistent in every moment, and even those that are aren’t always necessarily in our field of awareness.
Meditation is all about helping you to get back to the present moment, out of your head, and hopefully, focused on the beautiful woman who is about you hand you her number.