Healing Vs Hustling

How to resolve your past pain during lockdown?

Hey you!

Are you waking up every morning at 6:30 am and hustling all day so you can launch your new drop-shipping business during the quarantine? Time is money dude!

Are you using your precious lockdown hours to learn a new language, how to play the piano in only 30 minutes a day, and how to cook like Gordon Ramsay?

Did you start working out 2 hours every day so you can look jacked and triple your Tinder matches in less than a week?

Or are you taking some time for healing?

I’ve just released a new video that is sending shock waves through TNL networks. Grown men are breaking down and crying, many for the first time in years. If you have opened your inbox in the last month or so you’ve probably been bombarded by masses of life coaches and online educators reminding you to keep working hard and optimizing your lockdown time. Now, I don’t disagree with any of that. It is a good idea to take advantage of this unique moment in history, when the entire world pauses, to pivot your life plan and prepare for what happens next. However, what I also think this long period can offer is an occasion for healing, to go deeper inside of yourself and be real with yourself about what’s under the surface. Be prepared, what you’re going to find is not going to always be positivity and happiness, and, counter-intuitively, that is not a bad thing. It might just save your life.

Today I want to lead you through a thought journey, but to do so, I need you to be in touch with your entire emotional range. The first thing I want to touch base on is the idea of ”Hustle”. We live in a society that greatly celebrates the doers, the hard-workers, the men that become obsessed with their jobs. That’s good overall. At the end of the day, it is thanks to this 20% of people that get shit done that businesses, governments, and society itself keeps functioning. Those are the men who “succeed” on certain metrics, usually material ones. And that’s a big part of what I teach in courses like my Lifestyle Design Academy: how to leverage your networks and relationships to 10x the quality of your dating life, career and lifestyle results. The problem is that, for a lot of men, hustling stops being a means to an end and becomes the end itself. That’s because, like most forms of high-stimulation activities, hard work can be another way to get your dopamine spikes, external validation from friends and colleagues, and overall feeling you’re doing something that’s more important than anything else. This leads you to repress and despise any form of weaknesses like frustration, psychological and emotional pain, or any other negative feeling that can put you out of the constantly positive hustling mindset. On the flip side, is it’s easy to be really down on yourself if you can’t always live up to the extremely high standards of discipline and emotional balance you think you should have all the fucking time. If you recognize yourself in that statement, even a little bit, I suggest you spend a big chunk of your quarantine time starting to heal your inner wounds and acknowledging your past traumas, whether self-inflicted or created by others. The longer you decide to wait and postpone this, the higher the chances they’ll become a permanent part of you, calcifying those wounds into numb scars, anger or cynicism - which you will likely pass on to the next generation if they don’t take you out first.

Dealing with the grief of generations

So, the second thing I want you to realize today is, that it’s okay to feel sad. It is okay to wake up and feel lonely and a bit depressed (especially during Corona). It’s ok to have a tantrum or feel rage (seemingly for no obvious reason) sometimes, as long as you’re not damaging yourself or others around you. You have the privilege and burden of being born in the first generations that finally get to acknowledge their emotional pain and feel it fully. Your father, your grandfather, your frontier ancestor fighting a war, carving out life in a harsh environment, were all too busy copying with big challenges coming from outside. That often boiled down to a life-or-death type of outcome, with little resources left to work through the inner demons and trauma they experienced. That’s why they passed it on to you, they didn’t have the tools or self-awareness to know any better. For the first time, you have the choice of breaking this cycle, to save yourself and whoever comes next. The moment you finally acknowledge the repressed pain inside of you, something else amazing also happens. You begin to notice how almost everyone else is going through similar challenges. This creates an opportunity for you to truly understand what people need and desire in their lives at a very core level. How do you think I am able to empathize with my clients and lead them through their darkness? Because I’ve been to all those dark places too and come out on top. Once you do so and find a way to provide them some help to alleviate their own unique struggles, you’ll become a very valuable person in their lives. 

Valuing yourself and others is what matters most

The idea of ”Value” is the last thing I want you to focus on today. Not in the networking brunch sense of the word. I want you to focus on valuing yourself, the shadow sides and the light. If you want to advance faster than anyone else in your workplace hierarchy or if you want to connect with very exclusive and influential people, you must become a valuable person, that is to yourself first. Then you will be able to offer true value to the mentors, friends, women and lifestyle collaborators you want in your life. The process of receiving and providing value tailored to the specific needs of the person in front of you is one of the cornerstones of my Seductive Economy Method and something I cover at great lengths in my Lifestyle Design Academy. What makes LDA completely different from the other lifestyle programs out there is that it comes from a perspective heavily focused on social dynamics and bringing key people into your life to multiply your effects. I will show you how your typical struggles like increasing productivity, finding your unique purpose or improving your inner game can be solved ten times faster when you know how to get access to the right mentors and partners (without spending a dime if you execute properly what I teach you). I will take you by hand and explain to you how to leapfrog over the entry level grind and join any organization you might have an interest in, directly at the top without having to spend years working your way up from the bottom. You’ll learn how to create emissaries and advocates spreading positive messages about you in their own social pyramids and connecting you with the Godfathers & Floating Alphas (this also works in having women referring you to other women for sex).

My Lifestyle Design Academy is essentially the culmination of my life’s work as a social engineer (not a hustler. Yes I work hard but not nearly as hard or as long as guys who try to do it all themselves). It’s the complete system of never-released principles and step by step strategies that I’ve only ever shared with my private 1-on-1 clients (who pay me a crazy amount of money to spend a few days together). If you want to hustle and build connections with others your first step needs to be healing. The good news is that, as well as ultimately helping you connect with others, dealing with your own, personal pain that has been passed on to you from previous generations can be processed and left behind, leaving you with a feeling of...

 

Peace,

James

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