In this section we offer advice on all aspects of becoming a socially successful man. We encourage you to send in questions to us on almost anything. Whether it be body language, conversation, personal love life problems, male/female dynamics, sex, style or relationships of all types. We also welcome any criticism or debate on relevant issues.
We can’t promise we’ll get all the questions but we’ll do our best. Email all questions to:
Do women love status? Often when I tell a woman I am a lawyer she doesn’t believe me until I show a business card—and even sometimes show my ID to prove that the card is mine! Going to such efforts to prove something can be seen as seeking approval (although I don’t feel like I am seeking approval at the time). But as soon as I do it and I often feel they become more attracted to me.
Is it a good/bad thing to show my ID and business card to prove I am a lawyer?
I have the same thing with being a musician/massage therapist. Personally I don't try to convince women if they don't believe me. (And if they do believe me and look impressed I might say something like, "How do you know I'm a good musician, I might be terrible, or play in a kids birthday party band.") I just say, "OK, well I'm not going to drag you to a record shop to show you my album, so what job would you feel more comfortable me having?" or variations on that kind of thing. E.g. telling them I have a job that is obviously not me. "Ah OK, you're right I'm actually an accountant."
Basically the point is, to be modest, or act like your job is no big deal. It's much more impressive to be a lawyer who doesn't big note himself than one who is clearly clamoring to prove himself with the title. If you really want to test yourself and you reckon you’ll want to pursue things with the girl, simply don’t tell her. Let her find out later. I’ve done that. Can you imagine how much it pumps up your attractiveness if you carry on a great conversation, get all the right cylinders firing but hold that information as an ace. Later she finds out that not only are you a great guy but, “He’s a lawyer too Ma!” *swoon*
Remember, disqualifying yourself when you are a high status guy is very attractive. I met a guy in Prague who was clearly fucking loaded. When I asked what he did he replied, "I'm having too much fun, lets not go there tonight". This immediately created mystique and modesty and left me to imagine what amazing job he did.
If girls demand proof, don't jump to proudly whip out your card. Ask for them to prove something first. "Hey, I'm just out to have a few drinks tonight, didn't expect to drag the courtroom with me... you want to play hard ball, OK you prove xxxxx first" (their age, job, how real their tits are, etc), then reluctantly pull out a card (just thought of a routine you could use here. begrudgingly hand them the card, "You’re clearly the suspicious type, I guess you'll want to test it. OK, pull out your phone... write my number in, [pointing to the card]... call it...OK, now we're both happy. You have your proof and I have your number") and change the subject.
Remember to deliver all this kind of stuff with good humour in a relaxed manner.
Hope that helps.
Where does the woman's feelings come into play in this "Game"? It seems as though the main goal is to seduce as many beautiful women as possible. How is a woman meant to know if she means anything to the "pick up artist", other than another trophy that is? The way I see it is, a man and woman should be completely equal in a relationship, and from what I've read of your site you only seem to focus on a man dominating a female. So how does a woman know whether she is special to a man, or just a victim of "the game"?
Firstly I'd like to say thank you for contacting us and for asking genuine questions instead of making reactive statements like some of our critics. I welcome all questions and thoughtful criticism and I am aware that our business poses certain ethical and philosophical concerns for some people.
The use of the words "Game" and "Seduction" in our site are loaded I understand. For better of worse we are part of the "Seduction Industry" and therefore we need to include these terms to be viable within it. I think if you look carefully at what we present you will see the emphasis is on becoming a better man, not lying to women. We have a strong ethical standpoint which is outlined in our Code of Ethics on our site. We do not teach any kind of manipulation or deceit. We actively encourage men to be boldly up front and honest. Whether our clients are looking for a stable girlfriend (which most of them are) or to experiment with other more casual types of relationships, being honest and direct is always the best way. It's not our place to impose any particular type of moral restrictions on the lifestyle choices of our clients.
With regards to "Game". In many ways the romantic developments between men and women are a game. You can't tell me women don't play games, they are much better at it than men. Flirting, teasing, not answering calls, dressing for effect, creating intrigue and jealousy are all standard for women. These things build attraction and make the interaction a challenge and spicy. There are subtle languages and maneuverings happening in any seduction that both parties are actively involved in. This involves body language, which may be expressing totally different things to the verbal exchange, the creation of sexual tension by using space, timing, obstacles (for example if a man who is interested in you calls everyday and gushes his innermost feelings to you this is likely to be repellant. Whereas a man who is not immediately available and takes time to understand is more attractive.). These are "games" of a sort but they are what makes male/female dynamics exciting and women continually complain to me that men in general don't understand this. We teach guys who for whatever reason have difficulty communicating with women on different levels. We show them how to use their bodies confidently and how to use different subtle languages to build attraction. We also look deeply at the inner psyche and lifestyle of the client. If they are timid and limited in their life, we suggest making changes to increase their perspective, experience thus making them more interesting prospective partners.
What exactly is a Natural? Is it being an Alpha male? How can you teach something that is suppose to be "natural"?
A Natural is not one type of man. I can’t describe exactly what he looks like or what he does. A natural with women may be a typically manly man or a flamboyant dandy. Here I would like to differentiate between a Natural and a “player” or misogynist who is skilled at exploiting women’s weaknesses. The common quality that naturals possess is deep respect and understanding of female desire and a freedom of their own spirit. Women are attracted to men who are in command of their destiny and who have passion for life. Forget stereotypes of sexually attractive men. Looks, money, fame, these things will all play a part in attraction but more important than this is genuine confidence an open heart and an independent spontaneous mind.
Can we teach this? Certainly. I taught myself this (with the help of some amazing women) over a decade of trial and error, taking risks and committing myself to the task. We are not trying to model clones of ourselves. Our aim is to assist our clients to release the internal blockages that are preventing them from becoming the men they have the potential to be. To do this we look at every aspect of their lives, from body language and presentation to their core insecurities. This transformation cannot be completed in a weekend. For somebody that has been living in fear or uncertainty, the process may take years. For others all it takes is a few “aha” moments and a commitment to make some fundamental changes. Our role is to create a catalyst, to show our clients what is possible, to set them on the road to realising their true nature and to give them the tools to get there.
Are some girls impervious to the powers of game (i.e. they may have knowledge of The Game or textbook seduction theory)? And if so how to can I pick them up?
You raise a great point, this issue is one that burns at the back of many men's minds when they approach women, especially if they are unintelligent enough to use a pick up line or canned routine.
Women are very intuitive and can smell a fake a mile away. Unfortunately many men do not feel able to express themselves honestly and hide behind routines and manipulative techniques that they believe create an attractive façade.
What these men don't realize is that your personality will be exposed in the end and usually right from the beginning. Never deceive or lie to women; because often what you are saying is not coming out of your mouth.
I noticed you used the words “Power” and “Game”. It's important to understand that if you view the realm of women, love and relationships as a game then women will live to play you for a sucker. The women that are attracted to deceptive power plays are not women you want to be with.
It's disappointing that many men have elements of misogyny lingering inside. Some need to constantly manipulate and mislead women in order to gain the upper hand. It is only the weak who covet power and there are many more important things men should develop such as being genuine, bold and honest.
Mark Cunningham said, "A woman will tell you everything you need to seduce her.”
This statement is true in many respects, women are aching to find a man who is courageous enough to make her feel special, make her smile, care enough to find out who she is and make her feel like a woman again. Women don't expect you to be some flawless alpha male. All they expect is that you try to be a good man in their company. You may not succeed in some ways but you will find that they will still love you for that.
Women can show you a world of pleasures, if you ask them sincerely to show you around.
About a year ago I read The Game by Neil Strauss and began to experiment and study pop/mainstream game. I was keen to improve my skill set and get this part of my life handled but now I have spend a great deal of money on books and instructional CDs that have proven to be more of a problem than a cure for my social illness. I found them very informative but I'm still confused as a lot of the theories contradict each other. I feel there's just too much information to digest.
I can appreciate your question Robert, the issue of information overload within the online community has left many men disoriented. It is easy for “Dating Gurus” to preach one structure-based system for everyone. Using this superficial material, not only can a great deal of harm be done to women but also it has utterly confused men and prevented them from understanding how tonaturally interact with women.
One of the aims of The Natural is to ingrain strong and confident attitudes and mindsets into a man's identity. As we believe this is the area which most men who follow seduction methods or mainstream game overlook and where true attraction muscle comes from.
Natural Game will work with any structure or approach whether it's indirect or direct, shy or confident. The quickest way to social excellence and success with women is to be constantly building a strong belief system whilst actively engaging in a large range of social situations all the time. Above all, you must understand that whilst doing this you may fail many times before you succeed; like anything else in life.
Your mindsets will always determine your value in the eyes of women. If you are a feel-good type of guy giving off good vibes, you can say `I hate you' and still get a good response. On the other hand, if you're negative, self loathing or fake, it won't matter what you say you will be treated like a beggar on the corner of the street…weak, desperate and needy. Would you sleep with beggar?
Your inner beliefs will have more effect on your success with women than anything else. More than anything you say, more than any clothes you wear or sexual ability you have. It's like, if you truly believe you can dress like Cary Grant, talk like George Clooney and bed women like Ron Jeremy, women would certainly notice. Conversely, building external attraction bells and whistles while whilst still having a negative or deceptive mindset will bring you very little progress. Often people who rely on routine based game burn out when their ethics come up against technique or they become bitter and develop unhealthy attitudes towards women.
At The Natural we are not teaching some new seduction method or system to magically make you irresistible to all women. What we can teach you are the secrets that Natural ladies men throughout history knew and show you how to become the most authentic and effective man you can be. This requires making some fundamental changes to your life and committing long term to the task. If you are brave enough to take this challenge we can help you take your game to a level you could not even imagine possible.
I am a handsome man. I'm physically fit and I often get complimented on my looks. But for some stupid reason I never get the caliber of women I want. It makes me angry every time I look at myself in the mirror to think that some average looking guy has the woman I should have. My question is why aren't beautiful women attracted to me? Am I too good looking?
Being born with good looks can be an advantage but they do not nesecarily lead to success with beautiful women. Sure, women may be initially more receptive and may let you get away with a few more mistakes but that’s it. Essentially women are attracted to men who have attractive qualities, not just a pretty face.
In my experience I've found that having a tight image and carrying yourself with self respect is more important that being genetically handsome. Let's take an example from professional life: Say you were to turn up to an interview in casual clothes and the next guy turns up in a suit, who do you think will have an easier time getting the job? The guy in the suit.
Now I'm not saying you need to go around wearing a suit, but you do need to understand that the way you present yourself reflects your internal state and your own opinion of yourself.
The most attractive men are dominant without being domineering, cool and calm, congruent and expressive; all of this is because they are genuine.
As a final point, if you rely solely on your looks to attract women you will only attract superficial women. You are fortunate to be born with good looks but you will need to develop other aspects of yourself to attract the women you want.
Doesn’t using techniques and formulas take the fun, spontaneity and excitement of natural chemistry out of the whole thing?
Great question and a legitimate concern that women often ask me about. There is certainly a danger when entering the world of formalised seduction that interactions between the sexes can become robotic and scripted. There are schools of thought that use specific verbal traps to elicit particular emotional responses. These have been charted from “hello” to the bedroom. Although I can appreciate the twisted genius that has gone into developing these techniques, this scenario could not be further from our approach. Everything that we do is based on the natural flux and uncertainty of opposing yet complimentary opposites i.e. men and women.
To varying degrees once you understand the general patterns of attraction, you gain the ability to see the “matrix” of social interaction. You learn to see the subtext below conversation and begin to read body language, innuendo, social hierarchy and so on. In my opinion far from taking fun and excitement out of romantic communication, this just adds multi tiered levels to it.
Women are generally more aware of these sub communications than men and are pleasantly surprised when they find a man who can flirt with his gestures, say what he wants with eyes and project his intent through his whole being.
So what is “Natural chemistry” anyway? I would say that often men and women’s courtships are far from natural. Because the sexes are not speaking the same language, often the interactions are contrived with bland conversations and mixed messages. Spontaneity? Most people meet their partners through work or friends. They don’t have the courage to run across the street and introduce themselves to a stranger. By teaching a guy some principles of approaching and working on their inner beliefs we open up their world to countless opportunities that they never thought existed. Nothing could be more fun, spontaneous and exciting than spotting the tiny glance of a woman and being able to walk straight up to her without a moments hesitation.